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Show ALAS NO GRASS By Josh M. Along A big high power salesman, surcharged sur-charged with natural gas, Called at the Plants quite recently ami promised to grow grass On cinders, concrete, asphalt, or even a tin roof, Showing some grass in a small box and offering that as proof. He claimed to be a "Doctor", and dean of a large college; A man of wide experience, culture cul-ture and great knowledge; A traveler and scholar, Btudent of birds and bees, ; Who has specialized and majored on the themes of grass and trees, Who once in far Tasmania, found Herbae Mira Grass, That needs no soil nor moisture, grows on concrete or on glass Grows on deserts or on icebergs, any place beneath the skies; A miracle of verdure, just as the name implies, And when the "Doctor" found this grass he straightway gained renown, Secured a big long "sucker list" and started "bearing down". He is a c'assy peddler, wo surely knows his s'uff, So smooth that an eel'g stomach alongside " him would feel rough, And when he called on Enrlemann , showing grass (the sample patch), Ed fell and placed an order, then sent him on to Hatch. He missed Hatch by a whisker, but gained audience with Mix j And quickly open up on Bert with I his whole bag of tricks, Showing his 'ittle sample lawn, giving Bert to understand That, in ten days, he would convert con-vert tailings to pasture land, Bert fell, and called up Moffat ft arrange an early date To close with this fluent stcanger" before it was too late, With this result, the strangerj ere another day did dawn, Sold Moffat seed 'nough to change the tai'iligs pond to lawn. . To Mix then fell the duty of planting plant-ing all this seed, For the gentle, fluent stranger impressed im-pressed them with the need Of having every seed in'erred with infinite precision, " So Bert, unto this planting, gave careful supervision. And, when the job was finished, called Moffat on the phone Informing him that in one week, when these seeds would be grown, To bring his friends to the tailings tail-ings pond, a happy hour to pass Enjoying picnic luncheon on the green and verdent grass. And then w:e all saw visions, and everyone dreamed dreams, Of seeing all the tailings pond converted con-verted into greens, All covered o'er with waving grass, luxuriant and deep, On which there would be pastured bands of contented sheep, Leaving a generous surplus, sufficient suf-ficient to allow Each employee of the company to keep a private .cow, But, best of a'l, no longer would the dust storms arise To irritate our nostrils and vex our throats and eyes. But now our hopes are blasted, l and our spirits are quite low; The tailings pond remains the same; on it no grass will grow, For this stranger was a faker, a man of guile and sin, Who, for a consideration, waited not to take us in, . And this wondrous Herbae Mire, as the stranger calls the seeds Are the generating factors of common com-mon Utah weeds. Bert, Ed and Doug will not forget Doo Miller and his grass, Because they now, are listed in the ardent sucker class, And if you wish to stay a friend of any of these three, Don't mention Herbae Mira in his company. |