| Show I 4 a. a I f High Time TillIe For Title By FLORENCE BITTNER My daughter who will be married soon answered the thedoor thedoor thedoor door the other day to a gentleman gentleman gentleman gen gen- who asked Are you the Lady of the House Carol said she was one of the ladies of this house buther but buther buther her mother wasn't home LATER SHE asked me what exactly is meant by Lady of the House I said I guessed he meant are you the lady who spends the money in this house since such inquiries are usually made by salesmen The question is a good one however since I am not really sure what my official title is around here The description that went with the job I took on a quarter of a century ago said nothing at all about the duties of the position aside from such generalities as loving honoring cleaving unto unto unto un un- to and forsaking all others The only title that went with that job was Wife THAT TIM T I AM Art full time but the others I have not been able to forsake now include assorted children some of whom have reached an age where they resent being called children They have complicated complicated complicated my Wife job to the point where that is no longer longeran an apt title for the work I Ido Ido Ido do around here Homemaker is a pretty title and on days when the kids are behaving themselves and the world is smiling upon me I feel like a homemaker USED TO BE the sal salesmen would ask for the mistress of the house but that word has changed meanings and most ladies of the house would object object object ob ob- ob- ob to being referred to as a mistress We wouldn't mind being treated like a mistress mind you but we dont don't want to be called one I READ somewhere that before before before be be- fore Lucy Baines Johnson married married married mar mar- ried she said she was going to be a household executive Now theres there's a title Litle for you The trouble is it implies there is going to be someone to execute and in this establishment establishment establishment everyone wants to be boss Indians are both scarce and reluctant The Title I answer to most often is Housewife and that thatis is probably the most apt since it includes at least a passing reference to the housework housework housework house house- work part of this job SOME OF the fancier titles like Mistress and Lady of the House and Homemaker ignore the drudgery housework part of the job fob that lurks and waits and intrudes Id I'd much rather be a Lady but people object and complain about sundries like no clean shirts and they're hungry Someone is always hungry around here One question always irks me On the forms where it asks Employed and I have to list unemployed Now that is about as far as I am apt to get from the truth NO one is ismore ismore ismore more employed than I am Im I'm so employed I never even expect to read the Sunday paper till Monday afternoon if Im I'm lucky ON THE forms I write Unemployed unemployed unemployed un un- employed but let anyone ask me if I work and they get the full blast of my resent resent- ment I certainly do work I dont don't get paid for it and I Iam Iam Iam am not building up any comfortable comfortable comfortable com com- social security reserves reserves reserves re re- re- re serves but I work And I work hard And I work long hours And I work very cheap Maybe the title I should really really really real real- ly aspire to would be Lady of the House Theres There's a certain connotation of breeding and good taste implied in that title which is lacking in such pedestrian positions as House House- wife and Home Maker and even Household Executive IF I WERE the Lady of the House I would never raise my voice to my children This implies that the children would be able to hear my soft voice which would be a considerable considerable considerable con con- change If I were the Lady of the House Id I'd have ha to comb my hair before breakfast and wear a fresh dress and a smile from early morning till late at night MAYBE that's too ambitious for a woman with so many Ind Indians ms to keep track of Ill I'll have to save that Lady bit for the years when Im I'm back to being Wife Meanwhile maybe Id I'd better settle for Mother That title covers a great deal of territory |
