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Show answer the door and tell them that J I'm not in. I ll hide." Nor had he long to wait until a loud jangling of the lcll assured him I that an Irato creditor stood at the door. It was only a reporter, however. "I wish to speak to your husband." 'But ho isn't In," protested tho woman. "Well, I understand,' said the reporter, re-porter, getting out his notebook and pencil, "that he la Insolvent." "Oh, yes," cried tbo wife, a happy Inspiration seizing her. "he went over there on the 2: -10 train yesterday, and I don't expect him back until tomorrow." to-morrow." Lippincott's. i Coupon Savings. A Washington woman who was vis- I Itlng some friends in Philadelphia no- I tlced that tho little girl in the fam- ! Ily was eating some new sort of cer-1 eal at breakfast. She evinced little I enthusiasm for the stuff. I "Don't you like it, dearie?" a6ked the visitor. I 'I don't think much of it," replied the child. i "Then why do you eat it?" I The little girl paused in her task of disposing of the obnoxious article, and regarded her Interlocutor gravely. grave-ly. "It's got to be eaten," said she solemnly. sol-emnly. "The grocer gives mamma a coupon for every two packages she buys and it's got to be eaten every morning." Lippincott's. A Dubious Treat. In honor of the eventful day of graduation from a cooking school she ( got up a little spread j "Yes, I've got the loveliest dlnloma! cried the fair graduate "It's on j sheepskin parchment, with a big, grM seal. I cooked that dish you are eating. eat-ing. Now jnsi guesu what it is." "Is it or " the young cynic paused Impressively. "Is it the . diploma, di-ploma, Peggie?" Success Magazine. After a Farhion. Reporter Senator, If I mistake not, your name has ben mentioned once j or twice in connection with the Presidency. Pres-idency. .Senator Lotsmun why. yes; a Lon- I don journal, I believe, once remarked j that if the office r,f president i f tho United States was for sale I would probably buy it. Chicago Record-Herald, Record-Herald, j A Stay-at-HOme'3 Apology. "Why didn't you go to the polls to vote'" "Well." replied Farmer Corntossel. "after listenln' careful to what the candidates had to say about each other oth-er I concluded neither of 'em was wnth hitchin' up a hoss fur." Washington Wash-ington Star. A Good Business. "Ruzgles. yon ought to go into the business of raising chickens by hand. It's great." "I believe I would, Ramage, If I could buy a good Incubator cheap." (With eagerness) I've cot cne. old chap. I'll ell you for a third of what it cost me." Chicago Tribune. Little Sister. Mr. Black Well. Tommy White, can your little s.'strr Bessie talk yet? Tommy No: the doesn't have to. Mr. P.lack Why not? Tommy "Cos she only has to yell and she gets everything in the house that's worth having. Comic Cuts. j D:sappcinting. The pumpkin is most fair to see, For yellow luster you enn't beat it. Peihaps that's why It seems to be A gold brick when you try to eat it. New York Telegram. JUST FOR FUN The Worst Hotel. According to Jelf de Angells, the player, the worst hotel anywhere was one that some jears ago. stood lu the town of Abilene, Kus. "I had been bunking at thi3 al leged hostelry with a fellow actor for two nights," says Da Angelis, "and our experience took on all the horror of a nightmare. Tn the middle of our last night, not sleeping well. I was dimly conscious for a long limo that something was wrong. Suddenly I realized that the trouble camo from a leaky gas jut. 'Wake up, DII1- I shouted in my friend's car. "as I shook him violently. 'The -as is escaping' '"Well, ca-i you blame it?' Krowled he ns ho rolled ,,if the corn .'bucks." Harper's Weekly. fn Solvent. A young storekeeper who ha 1 fajle.l the previous day was so diffident about meeting An creditors thut b gave his wife the ' following instructions: instruc-tions: "Now, Maile, if any one rings, jou |