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Show JUST FOR FUN Nothing to Lose. They were Impecunious "penny-a-liuore," and they lived together, partly part-ly becauMO they didn't mind each other oth-er much, but principally because they were about the same sire, and ooo bt-et suit of clothes did for both. In the silent watches of the night, one of them awoke to hear a suspicious suspici-ous creaking in tho room. It was a bungling burglar, who had mistaken their room for an adjoining suit, occupied oc-cupied by a wealthy fishmonger. " "George," he 6hrleked, '"therc'B a burglar In the room." "You blundering Idiot!" roared his bedmate "Why the dickens couldn't you keep quiet? He might have dropped something!" Answers. Success After Many Years. Low Comedian After all thfls years Eggbert has at last succeeded in making a hit with tho audience, Soubrette So? How does he do It? Low Comedian You know, ho has always played villain roles. Soubrette Yes. Low Comedian Well, In the last act of a new play the author allows him to repent and say, "I've been a miserable villain." That confession Invariably brings down the house. Chicago News. Historical. Captain John Smith was about to be executed. Pocahontas rushed forward for-ward and spread herself protectingly over the palpitating - bosom of the Paleface Just ns Powhatan raised his knob-studded war club and tho assembled as-sembled Aborigines raised a shout. "Let 'er go, professor!" they yelled; and tho operator of the movlng-plctura camera began to turn the crank. Puck. When They're Brave. To his teacher's request that he give the class ideas on the subject of "Bravery" little Johnny delivered hlmtelf of the following: "Some boys Is bravo because they always playqs with , little boys, and some boys is brave because their legs la too short to run away, but most boys is brave because somebody's lookln'." Brooklyn Life. No Hope. "There's no hope . that the human race will be entirely content,", said the philosopher. "No," replied the man who was selling sell-ing tickets; "it's out of tho question to build sleeping cars with nothing but lower berths and theaters that contain only aisle seats in the first five rows." Washington Star. Another Kind. "Tire prospects for speeding on this road seem fine," ejaculated the amateur ama-teur chauffeur, as he prepared to let the machine, out. ' ; 'Right you are." chuckled the rural constable, darting from tfehlod a tree. "Fine, all right. Fifty dollars." Baltimore Bal-timore American. ' Was Her Own Idea. "It was Satan," said a mother to one of her children, "who put it into your head to pull Elsie's hair." "Perhaps It was." replied the little lit-tle girl, "but kicking her shins was my ovn idea." Youth's Companion. A Perverted Proverb. "Early to bed and early to rise," quoted the prudent citizen. "Makes many a man a nuisance with the lawn mower," interrupted Mr. Cros8lots. Washington Star. Preposterous. Willie I 6ay, ma, if dad was to dlo, would ho go to heaven? Ma Hueh. Willie! Who's been putting put-ting such ridiculous thoughts into your head? London Paper. An Unpleasant Tendency. It gives a married man tho chills And chronic blues When marriage merely runs to bills Instead of coos. Pltt9burg Post. |