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Show JUST FOR FUN Sot." Mayor Mncrcc of Pittsbun; wan talking ab-.ut an obstinate man. "He la "soi" In his ways," said th? Mayor. "Hi- la as bad as the old planter plant-er of history. "An old, planter In tho jmlmy days before the war was blown up In a ptpamboat accident on the Misslnslp-pl. Misslnslp-pl. They fluhed him out unconscious. I At the. end of au hour" manipulation I he came 10. I " 'Where am I?' he asked, lifting: l his head feebly. i " Sate on shore.' the doctor told him. " 'Which side of the river?' he inquired. in-quired. " 'The Iowa side," the doctor replied. "The planter frowned. He looked at the turbid, yellow btream. Then he Bald: . " Must my luck to land in a prohibition pro-hibition State. Chuck me In aaln." Philadelphia Record. Three Telegrams. I. William J. Blnks, New York: Please send me $B0o at once. TOM. Thomas Dinks, Yale College, Dluo Haven : You must economize. Send me your bills. FATHER. III. Blue Haven. May Dth. William J. Dinks. New York: All right. Am economizing. Have forwarded bills by freight. Cheaper than express. Txve to mother. TOM. Harper's Weekly. Almost Assassination. The dejected suitor waa telling his troubles to the Incorrigible. Joker. "I have never received such a Jolt in my life," sixhed the lovelorn swain. "I proposed to Clara whllo sho was hemming a gown. She gave me the lauph." "Ah, I see," chuckled the Incorrigible Incorrig-ible Joker. "She didn't hem and haw, but she hemmed and haw-hawed." And two minutes later a policeman arrived Just in time to prevent a homicide. homi-cide. Chicago News. Excusable. The tram was almost crowded, and tho poor mother was gently tossing the baby up and down in her anus in a hn endeavor to stop Its crying. ! As the car slowed down at the stopping stop-ping place the conductor looked In at the door and shouted: "George's Cross." "Yes; and perhaps if you were cutting cut-ting your teeth you'd be cross, too," tho lady with the baby replied sharply. sharp-ly. Tlt-HIts. Application Refused Upon a bet tho damsel wed, Cre many weeks, of course, She went before a Judge and said She wanted a divorce. ; Tho Judxe evinced but slight regret And told her with a snort That one who married on a bet Should bo a pamer sport. Kansas City Journal. |