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Show . . tiPL TOM SIMS SAYS Th saddest sight on earth Is a short man wishing be was tailor You never bavo to sit around and ! beg a phonograph to sing. Every day Is Armistice day for the henpecked husband. Nothing makes a defcaied candidate candi-date madder than seeing his picture still In a window a week later. Night n are lone: enough now for robbers rob-bers to make two trips. If you can make your handkerchiefs do a few more weeks yon will get somn new ones for Christ m i?. These are ticklish times for those wearing scratchy beavies. Furnaces are like husbands If you don't vsatch them they go out. This North Dakota man with whiskers whis-kers 17 feet long Isn't worrylne; much about ChristmaB neckties Inside Information Is valuable. That' is why doctor bills are high. We are sorry for the man without a country especially when leaves are tuminc; in the country There nevt-r lm been enouj;n pe;ne in the world to go around. i A gooso never acts like an owl when he goes out for a lark. The family skeleton looks better In longer dresses. Many a one horse town has two movies. Fire in (he Smackovcr oil fields ran smack over several miles. Near Ton.on City, Tenn.. a drunk pi led ofllcers to a still The farmer farm-er may pbod he v.-. is raising pickled pig's feet. A federal dlvorc law haa been framed. Too many couples seem to have the state divorce law framed. In Cincinnati, Boapmakers' pay was raised. This Is coming clean. No one knows what the Future has in store, but It Is a storo where you must go after what you wani. May wo say a salesman has a right to blow about his goods because it Is the trade wind? A man's wile has to hunt his things for him. but a bachelor knows hij an' on the floor We can all be thankful this Thanksgiving Thanks-giving that moths don't eat as much as alligators. |