Ogden Standard-Examiner | 1920-06-14 | Page 4 | Get Away Day

jj GET AWAY DAYj 1 BY "J5VGS" BAEK. . , IH (Copyright 1020 by Unhersal Service) t 11 COLISEUM. Chicago. Socrates l 1 iH Johnson gargled the poisoned olives j on the fifth ballot. ' jH On the eighth, the road narrowed fjll down to Wood and Lowden, which is IH almost as narrow as pussyfoot John- ' IH son. If it narrows down to Hoover, j it will be narrowing down to a pin- j EH head. : I In an effort to pool his votes, Hiram jH I found out that it was only a puddle. lll ll i Harding stepped out on the fifth IH and sixth, gaining like a fat lady on a- llH diet. IH H After twanging all day on the party ; ' ukulele, the national committee is suf-ferlng suf-ferlng from poisoning of the harmony knuckles. The convention balloted it- r self sour like milk in a thunderstorm. At the sixth It was split like a chapped ' lip in a northwestern. ' H Smoky weather was tough on the poor under delegates. Every time one of 'em tried to think there was an ' ' & ''1 odor, of burning fat. Crank the flivver pap, baby want3 9 -ll Its rattle. ai The sister tinkle of prop cocoanUts fl oft stage, wised the works that the 8 B ;H erring son on tho dark horse was 1 H H flatwhceling up to pay off tho mort- ' j jH 'H gage on tho Coliseum. It was old boy 4 fif iH Harding. ' He started gaining liko the m 1 m w Bill Bryan strolled In like a nut B Daniel In a den of squirrels. H I There was no cheer for Bryan. He Wl bowed in acknowledgment of the si- wl lencc tribute. fl'l Johnson started off like a cardboard ll bungalow on fire and lasted just 'as Hl long. Il Hiram faded out like a red nose on 9l Senator Sarsaparllla, . ri ll His enemies stripped him like a il Christmas tree in January. jflH IH While Lowden and Wood were spar- - ifiH ring around like Dcnishawns's Greek EH barefoot dancers in a, briar patch, ttH Harding sneaked up like that mud tur- flH tic in Aesop's unconfirmed rumor. mHH Harding hasn't much hair. Samson ll must have bilked those Philistine p Bazoos a toupee. VT" H The bolt of Hiram and his bolter- itcs failed to bolerizo. Hiram had H pulled in his horns. He tipped -his H mitt too sadden on the leak, of na- H Hons and tho national committee rub- bcr stamped him. H Harding was the knife Old Guard ll pulled on the convention. H Johnson received a neat but not H gaudy floral piece, entitled: "The ll Golden Gate Ajar." tM jH Butler has gone back to college. H Nicky Arnsteln was touted as the 1 compromise candidate. He has- com H promised many a guy in Wall street H with that liberty bond stuff. M H Bryan was busy jotting down notes 1 on how not to run a convention. What H differences doos it make who wins' H Uro gotta pay the rent just the same 1