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Show i I I A Gentle Hint. j Mra. Ilrluhl My ilniighier IcIlniH that you have heroine (piite an t4.-jt In palinlfftry. Young 8iii. e..in Yea, I ha led It for aome time. Mrs. Iirlatlit Well. I hare ha4 I plaaler Impreaaloll taken of lla line's hand, mid If you wind to sqib? It you can do an at your Maura, i I will save you the trouble of p, ronal examination, you know. A Useful Hint. Mra. MliinlKmlih lib, llcrtrara, a day the baby said "goo, goo, urn, bit, nah, bofi." ; Mr. Mlnnlamlth I'm awfully gat to hear that. Mra. Mlnnlanillli How proud t can feel! Mr. Mlnnlamlth Yes. and It rl make a good yll for our factorrl football tenm. ; Proper Definitions, "t-apa, what la uncwervlug corn tency T" "Unawenrlng conalatnncy. mjr son another nam for loaylty to our par tr" "Hut when It la tha other aide's s werrlng conalatcncji?" "Then, my child, It la plf haailat and malignant obstinacy." Precise. "We have nperatora i.ere If yonwlA them to send a incsaagn for you, sial tha manager or tha telephon offlrs: "or we have booths if you wish is Uilephon yourself." "No. I don't want to telephone rnf self," suld the lady. "I want to lee phone a friend of mine." Foot Note Needed. I "Mr. nacklotr. asked nie." said thl reporlor to the Suliurtuin I'liroulcle. "to put In thli. until-..: The i.i.i-'ii.t hient la announced of Mii Itr;tlc..t OVttllnhnn to Mr. lUiiu.un Hu, klolt " "Nolisoiirio." i-xeliillued the elttor. "Mr. llackloti la altomly niurrlcl." "You don't iiiiiterstiind. Hi. wsnra ayoryboily to know tluit he baa engaged en-gaged a cook. Mlxa tl Calluhan Is U." A Good Suggestion. Tli preacher had appnruntly almost reached his peroration, but he had apparently ap-parently almost ranched It before, aad th congregation was aiisplcloua. "What can I aay mors?" b sake! In Impaaaloned tones. "Attn," answered a man In a back aeat. An Act of Charity. Mr. lltupoo,uo "8o you did act of charity to-day to commemorate th tenth anniversary of our wet dlngT" Mr. Henponue "Yea; on of mi clerka wanted a rise of salary ao thai ha could get married, and I refimet Mm." Hla Choice Jury, 1-awyer Uriel 1 ao that rase at yours la on. Jury drawn yet? lawyer Sklntii-r Yea, and It's aplendld one. Lawyer Brief AIkiv th average Ii Intelligence, eh? lawyer Skinner No; way below It Tha Neat Housewife. Mra. Slnipklns "I see thnt our new neighbor has houitht a bniidaom umbrella um-brella aland for her hall." Mr. Simp. klna "And now she mnkra her hue band come Into the limine through tht kitchen and leave his umbrella on th aluk." Hla Mean Retort. ! Too married me fur my mony,H ! th iclalmed, angrily. j As for him he refused to lose his j temper. "You must I, me been looking at j yourself In the kin-, wus all ho said. From Boston, Perhape. i "Don i von think uiu. hu a very i distinguished air" 1 Yes.' Kind the tuid looking young nun "JiiiIkIiiu I loin tne chill she produ. ca. 1 should nil It a liquid air." Not a Faculty. She Ilu... ton nollred that I have ' a faculty nf fallina In lover He Ka. ully? No. fl. kloly. Yale rtecord. J I , COULDNT UNDERSTAND. WllllfrHay, mother, when day Ujr da Pacific cablo, how wilt da ra cable rare on do ocean; hut I Oolntj Her On Better. Cora- Tim lit'! Jack couldn't get in If bn nantod m. I rna Ita couldn't got roe eTen IX j be didn't want me. Nil IDEA. i lh Of Mlsa Clara Do you think Hi wicked lor lu lu play tha piauo on Bun-day? Bun-day? Mr. Cnmly Yes; and week lay, too. What Did Ha Mean? Hewttt -I promised my wife I'd meet her In heaven. Jowctt It's mean to fool a woman. What Happena. Church- What Is the result when a man's temperature goes up aa high aa It ponalbly (all? (Jotham Why, he geta hotheaded. Pointer. Th beggar had a notice Up, "Deal and Dumb," and tho passing philanthropist philan-thropist stopped In front of him. "I'd Ilk lo give thl man some thing," b aald to his companion, "but bow am I to know thnt be la doaf and dumb?" "Head th notice, sir." whispered th beggar, cautiously. Chum. In tha Ring. "Not that time:" snorted tha pugilist, pugil-ist, bnntorliiKly, ns hn dodged a terrlflo left hook for the Jaw. "You don't know me!" "I must confess," replied hla opponent, oppo-nent, politely, "that although your name Is famlltnr your face eacapea m for tho moment." When th Trouble Started. "Let ua talk thl over calmly aa between be-tween man and man," aald lb fallow who wanted to mak up. "It la a good deal ot m concession for m to mak," began th other, "but " At thla point actual hostilities developed. de-veloped. Th Finishing Touch. Mia Dorothy Hho tries to mak horaolf look Just like a man collar. Jacket, hat. stride, everything. Mr. llllklns Idiot. Miss Dorothy Yes, I forgot to mention men-tion that And the Imitation 1 rwally perfect Delicately Put 8h waa describing an aicltlng la- I cldeut "I completely lost my bead,' ah i said. "If yon are as eareleae of yourself I as thnt," he returned, "perhap you would he willing to spare your band." A3 YOU LOOK AT IT. Bnnday School Teacher wing, flo do you call boating on that horrthl tom-tom "music?" i Wing Lee Hah! You much h allien like ragtime! Comparisons. "It la a solemn thing." aald th young man, "when a woman truaU a man with hur affectlone." "It ain't as noli inu." said th man wllh the pink necktie, "ua when ah : won't tr""t bun with hi own wages." I No Kids Wanted. i Tenant (of iiiiimtn.iit house, to ! janitor) Quirk! Send for a doctor at ! My win Janitor Not ,,n your llfo! No i (Ulldren nllowed lu this Inula. Surely. Flrat Chappie 1 wonder now, ChoJ-II. ChoJ-II. how th donkey ever cam to b used aa the or emblem of stupidity? i Second Chappie (with a yawn) Don't know, I'm sure, dcah boy; must hav been before our duy. Quiet Tip. PoJitlcliin There goe a man you should know, lie carries the suite of lllluolH In hi pocket. Candidate Iml I? Who It ha? j Politician A nnip peddler. |
