OCR Text |
Show FAT SCHOOLMARMS NOT WANTED. Pennsylvania prides itself on the teachers in the schools of that com- raonwealth, but, in order to uphold the reputation of the teaching staffs, one of tho cities of thnt state has found it necessary to Issue a manifesto mani-festo that neither "fat" nor "flossy" candidates for positions are wanted. This causes an eastern paper to inquire in-quire as to tho meaning of this rule and to remark: "Thero are persons, no doubt, who will find a part-explanation In tho dogmatic dog-matic dictum that 'nobody loves a fat man,' but this does not account for the sweeping scope of the ban, which evidently evi-dently includes women candidates, as well as men. There is no law, nor even any maxim, against loving a fat woman on general principles, that Is. Of course, certain conventionalities apply If she happens to be another man's wife; but that's another story. How true it Is that times change nnd men change with them I The lato lamented la-mented Julius Caesar, for Instance, who execrated the lean and hungry look of one Cassius, and expressed an Impatient desire to havo men about him who were fat "sleek-headed men, and such as sleep o'nights" could never have been elected to the board of school directors of Pottsvllle, Pennsylvania; Penn-sylvania; and oven If he had been elected, ho would havo found himself In a hopeless minority when tho matter mat-ter of avoirdupois came to be considered consid-ered in the selection of teachers. The celebrated Mr. Jack Spratt might have suceeded In landing a teacher's position posi-tion in Pottsvllle, but his wife wouldn't would-n't have stood the ghost of a chance. It Is entirely safe to say that the board of Pottsvllle srhnol fllrpr.tnrs made this ruling without taking a vote of the schoolboy population, which, at least individually, would have .declared a strong preference for being laid across a plump, cushiony cush-iony knee, as against a sharp and bony one. "And then there are tho 'flossy' candidates. can-didates. Dr. Noah Webster, In his rather ra-ther pretentious book of words and definitions, tells us that 'flossy means 'pertaining to, made of. or resembling, floss; hence, light; downy.' If the Pottsvllle board's objection Is to lightness, the Inconsistency of Its position cannot be overlooked; for absence ab-sence of fat, on which the board Insists, In-sists, inevitably presupposes a degree of lightness as to weight. If the objection ob-jection Is to downy candidates, it should be an easy matter for him of pedagogic aspirations, just out of college, col-lege, to dispense with the upper-labial down, for the sake of securing a position posi-tion as teacher In Posstsvllle. But if the inhibition is against candidates, floss well, the New Hampshire frame of mind, long accustomed to the smoothest schoolmarms in the world, cannot bo expected to comprehend tho low ideals of some communities in other states. However, we wish the children of Pottsvllle Joy in the slim and angular education which is in store for them." nn |