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Show WISE AND OTHERWISE. I If all we had to cover us was our f religion, most of us would be going about in a Salome costume. j ... A long talker is a short thinker. I I Love is brotherhood. Passion It human nature. I . H The way to a woman's heart ii through a millinery shop. - Miss Fortune is blamed for everything every-thing when Mrs Fortune really causer the most trouble. I It is only the other man's wife wht looks charming in a kimona. ' , An agnostic is a man who doesn't i know any more about it than a theo I logian I I "I can tell anyone's age," said the parlor magician. Miss Ancient got up hurriedly. "Don't go. dear, he would' n't be so mean as to tell yours." "My auto is smashed again." "Welt, hurry and have it fixed. If it isn't ready for the cook oh her off day, she'll lca e us." . . . "People always laugh at my jokes. "I think you are mistaken; they laugh when you are around, whether you I spring a joke or not." "Why do they say good people die young'" "Well, you never saw a strictly good adult, did you?" "Out at our country estate " "Why, I thought you lived in a city boarding house?" "I do, but we have an old hen of a landlady; her husband hus-band is a hog, and the star-boarderess is a cat, her son is hounding us all the time for a penny; one of the boarders is mulish, another has a hoarse-laugh, even I seem to be a lion among the women there. And as for the rest of it. one of her daughters is a pipin, another a peach; their aunt is a lemon; there's a regular regu-lar pumpkin-head there and a But the enquirer had fled. "Did you know Abraham Lincoln invented a flat-bottomed boat to run in very shoal water by steam ?" "No, ( did he?" 'Yes, the model is in the patent office now " "Well, well. Old Abe must have bought one of them high and dry seashore lots ana in-vented in-vented the boat to get to it in." "Beware of the fickle summer girls, my son." "Oh. I don't mind being jilted a few times, father." "That's jj just it, boy, your mother was a summer sum-mer girl, and I reckoned on her jilt, ing me, and see how I came out!" "And why do you think she's a real society lady. Mary" Why, sh cusses just like one." "Take me, mister. I'm a good office boy I don't care anything about base ball." "You don't' W ell. you won't ' do, for you're either a fool or a liar.' "What is a diplomat?" "A diplomat diplo-mat is a man who can make a lie seem more reasonable than the truth, can , guess a woman's age without getting it too old or so young a to be ab- surd, and can do a man an injury and make him believe he has done him f favor " "What the RlOSt alluring thing about golf?" THE HIGHBALLS ON THE CLUB VERANDA." |
