OCR Text |
Show fH.I.PhilliPr THE WOMEN'S ARMY Tramp, tramp, tramp, the girls are marching! Women in uniform will be the 1942 feature of our war program. Girls will be doughboys. The bill creating a Women's Auxiliary Aux-iliary Army has been passed and one creating a Women's Auxiliary Navy is in the works. It is soon going to be a question ques-tion whether to tip your hat to a lady or give her a salute. There will be 150,000 gals in the new army, and it is fairly obvious that before long there will be so many of them in uniform that a woman dressed like a woman is going to feel conspicuous. It is all going to be a terrific blow at feminine daintiness and charm. The boudoir is going to look like an army locker room every clothes hanger is going to have a military garment on it and the male members of the family are going to have their troubles telling which are their hats and which belong to mother and sister. We fear a big drop in charm. A woman has to have everything to project oomph in flat heels and an army hat. There will be no generals, majors, colonels, etc., in the Female Reserve. Re-serve. Those responsible for the matter were smart enough to know that chaos night result. But there will be other less militant titles. The ladies will be -ranked as directors, assistant directors, first leaders, second leaders, junior leaders, etc. The preliminary battles will be fought over the question who are to be plain everyday members. The gals will be paid. Directors will get $3,000 a year and expenses, assistant directors will get $2,400 and expenses, and those from junior leaders to first officers will get from $648 to $2,000 a year and expenses. Expenses will not include bridge losses. Just what the ladies will do has not been completely decided, but if the boys in the army could get their wish some of them will be assigned to cook, make beds and do the general gen-eral housework which the boys now have to do. Nothing would raise the morale of the American buck private like being be-ing relieved of the job of making his own bed. ' The Women's Army will be non-combatant. non-combatant. (Except within its own ranks. Ed.) It may be sent anywhere in the world. And there is this one great consolation: it will not be sent out in those funny spring and summer hats. D1MOUT "Get the flashlight, Willie! Popper's gonna take us to New York to see the sights!" It's so dark in the heart of New York now that folks are doing their necking OUTSIDE the movie houses. "U. S. to Use Alcohol to Make Rubber." Headline. We suppose this will mean a return of those wobbly rear tires. Private Purkey's sweetheart, Harriet, Har-riet, says she supposed all those soldiers are being sent to Ireland because they are green troops. THOSE MUSICAL COMMERCIALS Radio advertisers are going jingle mad. There is hardly a product on the air market today that hasn't been set to music. You can't tune into the radio these days without finding yourself in the middle of some musical boost especially espe-cially written for infantile intellects. There was a time when an announcer an-nouncer would plug a drink, hair oil, bon bon or cigarette in a straight TALK. He didn't need an orchestra to say a good word for a loaf of bread, or a choir to emphasize the value of a can of beer. He didn't have to set a Mother Goose jingle to music to beat down your sales resistance. Radio is the most imitative of all the arts. Let some sausage maker come on the air with a sales talk via a male quartette and a dozen other business men will have their commercials musicalized. Are you a cigar manufacturer? Very well. You'll want something like this to convince the American public that you have the best smoke. Health and vigor's what you need, You can get 'em, yes, indeed; Smoke Bazooker's new cigar ... Tra la, tra la, tra la lar! |