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Show YIFW This la the Army (lly the Soldiurt in Irving Merlin's I Shiw fur Army Emergency Relief J According to the pay rate for American soldiers as compared with the wages the average Jap soldier gets, Uncle Sam considers the American Amer-ican private to be worth 167 Japs . . . Soldiers are flooding the Fifth Ave. Public Library with requests for books about Germany, Japan and Italy especially the points of interest inter-est in those countries. They're so confident the U. S. will take over they want to be prepared for a bit of sightseeing. The Quartermasters Department at Philadelphia has asked manufacturers manufac-turers of medallions and decorations to bid on the manufacture of between be-tween 500,000 and one million decorations deco-rations to be worn by the soldiers of the Army occupying Germany after the present war . . . The U. S. Army tells its men: "It is commonly supposed sup-posed that the first duty of a good soldeir is to die for his country. This is a mistake. The first duty of a soldier is to make his enemies die for theirs." The U. S. Army runs the largest movie chain in the world 500 theaters thea-ters at camps throughout the country coun-try . . . The Army soon won't have any dish-breaking problems in its mess halls. The Quartermaster Corps has developed a new shatterproof glass that will bounce like a golf ball when dropped . . . One of the Army's special services for its men is providing members of the A.E.F. with an opportunity to acquire an education via correspondence courses. WALTER WINCHELL . four of duty outside Continental V. S. During hi absence, contributors will substitute. Our average soldier' is more than a half inch taller and nearly 10 pounds heavier than the men of 1917, according to the war department . . . Glider pilots are referred to as the "G-Men of the Air" . . . The speed limit for all Army vehicles is 30 miles per hour, regardless of the civil speed limit. The Army wants its vehicles driven in a manner that will set an example for civilians . . . The men who load the bombs on Uncle Sam's planes refer to them as "Bundles for Berlin." As the result of a survey made by the Quartermaster Corps, all gov- ernment issues of Army trousers, in - x the future, will be more roomy around the seat ... A Negro private, pri-vate, after being issued his Army clothing at Fort Sill recently, was asked about the fit of his new uniform. uni-form. "Why, these duds fits fine, sa'gint," he replied, "but do you mind if I buys another pair of pants for jitterbugging?" Although he new steel helmet is slightly heavier than the 1917 model, the soldiers don't mind the extra weight. They claim the new helmet Is a hair-restorer because it stimulates stimu-lates the scalp by bouncing around on the head. During the Army's recent maneuvers, maneu-vers, the boys discovered lots of uses for their new steel helmets. It makes a good seat just outside the pup tent, sort of a front stoop. It's an excellent excel-lent container for the things a soldier sol-dier takes out of his pockets before be-fore going to sleep. It can be used for taking baths. And it's the finest outdoor washtub ever designed it holds at least two shirts and a couple of pairs of socks. Army Slang: Insects are "mechanized "mech-anized freckles" ... A wastebasket is known as "File 13," and the nut house is "Section Eight" . . . Nurses are "Snow Whites," and a letter from the girl friend is a "sugar report" re-port" . . . The guardhouse is the "Cross-bar hotel," and woollen underwear un-derwear are "Superman drawers" . . . The bugler is "Gabriel," money is "E Pluribus," and a garbage truck is a "honeywagon." A girl in Sebring, Fla., whose boy friend is on duty in the Pacific war zone, recently received a letter from him. On opening the letter, the girl found only a narrow slip of paper on which was written: "Your boy friend still loves you, but he talks too much." It was signed "Censor." When Gen. Jimmy Doolittle recently recent-ly made a breathtaking steep takeoff with an observer, he turned around and chuckled: "Bet 95 per cent of the people down there thought we'd crash" . . . The observer replied: "Only 50 per cent up here thought so." V. S. troops in Australia have a hit tune of their own titled. "The Aussie I ar.d the Yanks Are Here." It was j written by Pvt. Johnny Xauer of ! Michigan, while aboard his troopship 1 bound for Australia . . . Swimming is a compulsory activity for recruits at the Army Air Force training center cen-ter at Miami Beach, Florida . . . i The shortest movie review ever printed appeared recently in the Fort LeavenworthReceptior.Ce.T.erXews. I The picture was a War Department ' training film on "Sanitation." The comment was: "Good clean fun." I I |