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Show A PAIR OF SILK STOCKINGS. The Experience of a Fond Brother Who Wanted to Surprise His Sister. For weeks I had been puzzling over a commencement gift for my sister, who was soon to graduate, when a letter from my mother made me decide upon a rair of silk stockings. The thought that I should have any trouble in buying a pair of eilk stockings never crossed my mind, and it was with a feeling of confidence that I entered one of the largest dry goods houses in the city. A floorwalker inquired what I wanted, and directed me to the "third counter to the left, down four rows," and waved his hand in a general way. After some wandering I found the "third counter to the left, down four rows," and to the young man who presided behind it said that I wanted to see some stockings. "Yes, sir; you mean socks." "No, silk stockings," said I, and I felt that the suggestion of a blush was hanging hang-ing on my manly brow. "It's socks, sir; socks, sir," reiterated the clerk. "But I want them for a lady," and as I said these words I grew red. The clerk looked at me and then said: "H-m-m oh, yesl Fourth counter to the right, down two rows." It was a young lady who stood behind this counter, and she maintained a stony silence until I asked her to show me some silk stockings. "White or colored?' "Why, I hadn't thought of that! Which would you suggest?" But this question Seemed td freeze her, for" she again relapsed into silence. "Which is the fashionable color for ladies?" I went on, bound to treat the matter as a mere business transaction. "I mean, do young ladies usually wear colored stockings?" This seemed to make matters worse, for the young woman glared at me. I thought that perhaps I had made a mistake mis-take about color, and so I continued: "Well, after all, I guess white will do. Just wrap me up a pair of your best white silk stockings." "Will you have clocks?" she deigned to ask. "No, not clocks stockings," and I looked at her in blank amazement. "I mean, will you have them clocked or not clocked?" Now I hadn't the ghost of an idea what she was driving at, but didn't intend in-tend to confess my ignorance. A bright idea struck me. "If you were buying them for yourself, which would you prefer?' "What?" "I mean, if if you were me, which would you prefer?" The look in her eyes I interpreted to mean, "Go no further, sir; I regard your remarks as offensively personal." So I went no further and said I would take them without clocks. My sister had a watch, and she could get along very well with that. "What size?" was the young woman's next inquiry. "Oh, the usual size for young ladies," said 1. "You must be more exact, sir," she said. "Well, she that is, the person who is to have these stockings is about five feet high. Oh, she is gust the size of most young ladies. She is no larger than you are. Now, what size do you think she'd wear?'' "Sir, I don't know." But I am not going on with this painful pain-ful narration. All men who have been in the same fix will appreciate my feelings. feel-ings. At length, however, I could stand it no longer, and I blurted out that I wanted a pair of silk stockings for my sister as a commencement gift, that I was willing to pay for them, but I didn't know anything about buying them. Then the yonng woman relented and in her sweetest voice suggested sh9 wrap up a pair of of the best stockings, and that I write to my sister that if they didn't fit she could exchange them. This I did, but the sun will rise in the west before I buy any woman's stockings again. Cor. Kew York Recorder. |