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Show ! By HOWARD L. RANN I STIMULANTS A STIMULANT is something which people take to im-rease their voltage. Some people have so little natural voltage that they have to tire up on stimulants about live nights tt week, after which they are able to get home with the aid of a picket l'euca and nineteen telephone poles. There are several kinds of stimu-lants, stimu-lants, all of which serve a useful purpose. pur-pose. The old-fashioned stimulant : known as a sound spanking has kept , more boys out of the reform school . thftu all the moral precepts of the ages. The moral precept is all right, ; but it does not seem to reach the spot with so much thoroughness as a conscientious spanking mixed with short, bristling words of admonition. Many a boy has been .stimulated into giving up profanity after bis mother has rinsed out his mouth with wood ashes. Nearly all stimulants have the ' faculty of giving out at a critical juncture junc-ture and demanding more rope. Where one man limits himself to three cigars a (lay, a thousand make way with twenty and top off with four pipesful before retiring. When the family physician feeds morphine to ! sciatic rheumatism, the patient usual- j ly recovers just in time to invest in a , hypodermic needle. The boy who goes the beer route is lucky if he doesn't wind up on lemon extract. Stimulants Stimu-lants never made a clear head and a clean eye or a happy marriage or a I 1 dcwt evuil h.At kookty k -I'M Half- A mwo Tot -yoo To BED vwillouTyou. The old-fashioned stimulant known as a sound spanking. captain of industry, and the more they are abused the harder they sting. Tobacco, tea, coffee and malt extract ex-tract are stimulants which should be driven with a high check. Nevertheless, Neverthe-less, it is a sad fact that thousands of people who have always smoked a cob pipe and drank coffee made in a lye bucket have been cut off in their 103rd year and caused the relatives to ask for that familiar hymn, "I Would Not Live Always." (Copyright.) O |