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Show UJtjffc o Uhjnhd about Salad Mixers de Luxe. LAXSIXG, MICH. About once in so often you meet the man it's always a man who knows how to make the perfect salad dressing, and on the slightest provocation does so. The trouble with this party is when you get him off salad dressings he's practically a total loss. Nevertheless, a decent salad dressing and a decent salad are boons to humanity. The right commingling commin-gling of astringent, bitterish green things with a smooth, bland dressing dress-ing there you have something. But often of-ten we are confronted confront-ed by a monstrosity featuring whipped cream, nut kernels, sweet cheese, preserved pre-served fruit, even marshmallows or Dickled einger. , i Irvin S. Cobb Such an atrocity is never a salad. Put a crust on it and it might pass for pie, but would be very low-grade low-grade pie. Concerning Mr. Earl Browder. HAVING been discouraged by a perhaps overzealous police force from speaking in Indiana, Karl Browder, one of the almost countless candidates for President, now threatens suits for false arrest. As Al Smith says, let's look at the facts. Mr. Browder stands for communism stands for all communism commu-nism stands for. Therefore he must look on the Russian government as the one ideal government, it being the very flower and perfection of applied communism. Now, in Russia any man publicly advocating doing away with the existing ex-isting national system and substituting substitut-ing some other system therefor would find himself in jail or even in a worse fix before he could say Jackovitz Robertsonoffski. So what I say is that Mr. Browder shouldn't crave to sue anybody. If he believes in the practice of what he preaches, which, of course, he does, he ought to go around kissing everybody on both cheeks. Cruelty to Animals. LATELY a dog was tried before a judge for biting a boy. And another judge was appealed to, that he save an elephant condemned to die. So some one proves that, through many centuries, animals were accused of high crimes dogs, rats, pigs, oxen, roosters, storks, also ants, spiders, snakes, grasshoppers, grass-hoppers, dolphins, locusts, gadflies, eels, and, being convicted, were burned, flayed, hanged, destroyed by slow torture. But think of the charges on which the so-called brutes might condemn mankind offenses of which they rarely or never have been guilty malice; slaughter of weaker things for love of slaughter; deliberate wastefulness of natural resources; wanton destruction of natural beauties; beau-ties; wars without rational cause; unnecessary greed; bearing false witness; neglect of our own young; drunkenness; slothfulness; bigotry; intolerance. Newspapers Vs. Spellbinders. IN MY reportorial youth nearly every newspaper, big or little, was bitterly partisan. We distorted facts and editorialized in news stories stor-ies when dealing with the accursed opposition. Otherwise we'd have been traitors to a sacred cause. These times the average paper, big or little, prints honest accounts concerning both sides their relative rela-tive chances as revealed by polls, their waning or gaining hopes. The political views of a columnist or a special contributor may differ from the publisher's policy still he gives them space. I But the spellbinders go right on spouting fiction which everybody knows is fiction. And the volunteer volun-teer debaters clamor with prejudice and misinformation for their ammunition. am-munition. By the way, will all those who ever heard of anybody being converted con-verted by one of these barber-shop arguments kindly raise their right hands? ' Currency Juggling. BEING frightfully smart to begin with, I know as much regarding currency Juggling as the next fellow which is precisely nothing at alL Up to, say, $18.75, most of us know what money is or used to be. But when they talk in terms of billions or trillions or jillions, they've got us going down for the third time with a low gurgling cry. ! And the more a financial technician, techni-cian, with both his pants pockets full of figures, tries to explain these governmental manipulations, the . more convinced I am that, like the average specialist, he has concen-I concen-I trated on being expertly ignorant upon one involved subject rather j than remaining, as most of us do, broadly and comprehensively ignor-I ignor-I ant upon practically all subjects. IRVIN S. COBB. I Copyright. WNU service. |