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Show Sad Case. Mrs. Jones (sobbing) The us company collector was around today and got his money. Jones Well, that's good. What's the matter? Why weep over a paid bill? Mrs. Jones Oh, my dear, boo hoo oh, dear I You see, he was held up just outside and came back and oh, dear collected it all over again. New York Sun. To Have a Clear Sweet Skin Touch pimples, redness, roughness or Itching, If any, with Cutlcura Ointment, Oint-ment, then bathe with Cutlcura Soap and hot water. Rinse, dry gently and dust on a little Cutlcura Talcum to leave a fascinating fragrance on skin. Everywhere 25c each. Advertisement. Circumstantial, but Not Convincing. The mother of two boys, aged respectively re-spectively five and seven, had a hard question to settle the other day. The younger boy came to her crying with exasperation, and said that he was "a nickel short." "Well, what's the use of yelling about it?" said his older brother, who was calmly eating candy. "You don't think I took it, do you?" "I don't say you did," the little fellow fel-low replied, "but I'm a nickel short, and you're eating candy." Youth's Companion. t Unlucky Coincidence. And here's one about the Quaker Ti-b'ise patriotism got the better of his religious scruples and who went to war. Crawling through S'o Man's land be spied a husky German. Raising his riflo to his shoulder, he shouted : "Friend, 'tis most unfortunate for thee, but thee standcth just where I am going to shoot." 1 And blazed away. American Legion Weekly. A Scratched Record. One day recently Mary Hirdclln, age ten, and her sister, Harriet Jane, age five, were visiting their grandmother, whom they call mamma. Mary Birdella was singing to one of her dolls when mamma joined in on the refrain. Harriet Har-riet Jane looked up and said, very soberly, so-berly, "Aw, mamma, your record's scratched." |