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Show Truly a Hero niank4-Do you see that promMook awarded a t'aniegio hero medal. iiluuks What did ho do? Hush Into a burning building, and, nt the risk of his own life, rescue u whole family of little children from tho devouring fl iimea? Hiiiiiks Nothing of the sort. Ho took dinner at a fashionable hotel hist week and strolled off without tipping the waiter Stung Again. Old Lady I want you to change that parrot 1 bought from you. lis doesn't speak at all, and you said he'd repeat every word ho heard. Shopman. YVs, ma'am, and so he would; but you took blm In such a hurry that I hadn't llmo to tell you bo was deaf. ' Refuses to Make Good. "I am beginning to think, dear, that , my husband is a big fibber." "Why. darling?" "Why, he threaten nparly every week that If I keep on a I am doing boil blow his brains out, but ho never does " A Soft Answer. "Had a puncture, my friend?'' Tho chauffeur looked up and swallowed swal-lowed his feelings with a huge gulp. "No, Kir," be replied, "I'm Just changing the air In the tire. The other lot's worn out, you know!'' Ideas. A Valuable Haul. "You say your Jewel were stolen while tho family was at dinner?" "No, no! This is an important rob feery, officer. Our dinner wa stolea while wo were putting on our Jewels." How She Reasoned It Out. He. Hurry! Weil never catch that train now, anyway! .She. Then If we'll never catch It, what's tho uvo of hurrying? Still Adored the Ring. Mar. do Win n you broke the en-gigement, en-gigement, of course you returned tho diani'.nd ring he gave you. Kthel. Certainly not! I don't caro for Jack any more, but my feelings have not changed towards tho ring liotiton Transcript. How It Happened. "My good man, how did you happen h bo thrown out of work?" "I got out," replied Weary Wombat, with dignity. "I didn't halter bo thrown out " He Knew. Kxamlner Now, supiose you found man on tho street so Intoxicated he couldn't stand up, bow would you treat him? New Cop. I wouldn't treat him at all. I'd think be hsd enongh. snd tell bJm to go homo snd sleep It off! Up to Him. Hubby Mary. I fear we'll have to cut down expenses. Wifle Tho only points I ee where we can cut down are your cigars, clothes, clubs, etc. What's the Use. "England owna the Kohlnoor, the finest diamond In the world." Own t'je finest diamond In the world, eh? That seeme a shame when he d x-sn't play baseball "Louisville Courier Journal. , A Humorist. W'bi says there are no women humorist hu-morist t" "I d m t know Why?" "My typewriter spells aa funny as John !!lior In hi palmiest days. Waahlngtoo Herald. |