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Show ONE ON THE FARMER. Youth Had the. Making of a Future Financier. "Trust, monopolies, have had their day. They did more harm than good. v Hence, they must go. But, all the same, we must admire the long-head edness of the men who created these vast enterprises." The speaker was' Senator La Fol-lette. Fol-lette. He' went on: "The trust creator crea-tor reminds me of the little boy who entered the farmer's truck patch and said, touching a handsome cucumber1 on a vine: " 'How much for this?" " 'Ten cents,' the farmer answered. " T don't want to pay more than about 2 cents,' said the boy. " Well, here's one for that price,' said the farmer, and he lifted up a very small cucumber that grew beside the big one. " 'All right. I'll take her,' said the boy. 'But don't cut her off now. I'll call for her again in two weeks' time." St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Bright Policemen. During the early period of the work on the Panama canal many persons were injured by jumping on and off trains in motion on the Panama railroad. rail-road. There were on the zone police force many W'est Indians who were trained and capable men, but incurably incurab-ly literal. An order was issued to the force to arrest any person found jumping jump-ing on or off a train in motion and the next day two West Indian policemen brought into a police station a white man who was struggling firecely to break away from them. "What have you arrested him for?" asked the police sergeant who was on duty. "For jumping on and off the rear of a train, sah," one of the policemen replied. re-plied. "The blamed fools!" cried the arrested ar-rested man. "I'm the brakeman!" Youth's Companion. An Unlucky Number. "What are you here for. and why, my misguided friend?" queried one of those sympathetic prison uplift advocates advo-cates recently. "Well, you see mum. I'm the victim of the unlucky number thirteen." "My,' how novel and superstitious! Tell me all about it that unlucky thirteen." "Yes, mum; twelve jurors and one judge." , Proved Contention. "Do you see that girl in the third row of the chorus?" "Yes; why?" "She promised her mother she'd never be an actress." "Well?" "She isn't." Philadelphia Publio Ledger. Why He Cried. At the funeral of Baron Lionel de Rothschild, father of the recently deceased de-ceased Lord Rothschild, a poor old man wept loudly and bitterly. "Why are you crying?" inquired a bystander. "You are no relation of Rothschild." "No," howled the mourner, "that's just why I'm crying." Naturally Qualified. "What line of activity do you think your son will follow?" "I'm not sure," replied the weary looking man, "but from the close questioning he puts me through I'm inclined to think that he'll make a great chairman of an investigating committee." Washington Star. But They Won't. "It is a great pity," said the gir" who is popular "that young nu-n won't arrange their visits on the short and sweet plan." "What is that?'' asked the other girl. "Go home early and leave a box ot candy." They Had to Be. Maud. "Don't you think there a-e just as good fish in the sea as ever were caught." Marie "I don't know. Hut they are smarter, anyway?" Boston Transcript. Tran-script. Nothing Odd About That. "Another embezzlement. I see. Isn't it odd that these are always commit) ted by trusted clerks?" "Not at all. The ones that are ni trusted never get a ctance at tbJ mo-jey " Boston Transcript. |