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Show ONCf OVER : ; . Deep-Sea Fliwer Relieves Traffic ' By H. I. Phillips EXPERIMENTAL AUTOS Include bottled gas, push-button brakes, a motor that slides out of the car on a platform and a car that will run under water. Our ambition is to sign a check with an underwater pen for' an underwater limousine. The whole idea of a submersible car is exciting. There is not much fun running one on land anymore. In fact, it has become close to impossible. impos-sible. e e Every day sees newer and wider wid-er highways, viaducts, tunnels and bridges built to ease traffic. But autos have been coming onto on-to the road so fast that the congestion con-gestion got worse by the hour. You don't need a map when you start on an auto trip; you need patience, a good book and some signalling device to reach rescue res-cue squads. In searching for a solution, it seems to us that the underwater car is the answer in all coastal, river and lake areas. What a thrill to turn off a clogged artery, shoot down a sidestreet kerplnmp lntc the water and get downtown with no further harassment. e For one thing when you are in an underwater car you are freed from all sulphurous dialogues with other drivers. The man who opens the window to shout, "Move over, ya bum!" is doomed unless he is a fancy swimmer. For anothtr thing, no traffic lights, especially those "WALK" ones in zones where no pedestrians have been seen in weeks. Whether back-seat drivers will be less of a hazard a few fathoms deep is questionable. We fear not. The wife will still chirp, "You should have turned off at that last bell-buoy," bell-buoy," and, "Stop at the next reel and check on your map!" In time, of course, ..11 the comparative advantages of an auto trip underwate: will pass. The authorities will start monkeying mon-keying with the rules and regulations. regu-lations. There will be an jnder-seas jnder-seas motor cop, the submerged blinker-light and the sign "Slow Down. Converging X i d e s Ahead." e We located Shudda Haddim today He had been in hiding after missing "Empty Talk" at $87.10 and was still moaning low. "The mornin' of the race the wife tells me she will cure me of bettin' or kill me, he wails. "On the way to the track a guy tells me how if he had two dollars dol-lars he knows a four-horse parlay that couldn't miss. At the track at least four dopes tell me they are gonna give up playin' the Kjnies il they get even on the next race. And I don't get no hunch on this 'Empty Talk' thing! I !" e The trouble with "austerity" In our national program is that there are too many Americans who think they are leading the austere life when they take the $3 Instead of the 34.50 steak dinner din-ner and abandon the search for white-wall tires. |