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Show . ONCE OVER You Get Taxed Just the Same! I By H. I. Phillips : 1 FISHING tackle is one of the few things left without a higher tax in the new Federal tax law. As a fisherman we felt pretty good until we gave it second thought and discovered dis-covered it will cost ruore than ever to go fishing just the same. It works out this way: i 1. You decide to go fishing, but need a pal, so you call Joe Burpee over to the house to make plans. This calls for a highball. The tax on whisky is up. 2. Yon set the trip for Mon-lay. Mon-lay. It dawns beautifully but y the time you've got the car packed a heavy rain starts. You nd Joe sit in the car a while waiting for it to clear op. Yon smoke at least a pack of cigarettes ciga-rettes on which there is a higher high-er tax. You have another highly high-ly taxed drink to cover your disappointment. dis-appointment. You set Tuesday for the trip. 3. Tuesday you wake up to find a howling storm. You go to work but at 10 a.m. it turns into a swell fishing day. You meet Joe for lunch. This costs you a couple of drinks to cover your general disgust. dis-gust. 4. Wednesday is okay. You go in your car and the gasoline tax is up. 5. If you needed clams and dug them yourself you strained your back and had to pay more for the alcohol for the alcohol rub. 6. Just before reaching the river your car blows out a tire and the new tube carries a higher tax. You smoke a few more cigarettes. 7. The boat livery proprietor raises the rate to $2 from $1.50 because be-cause he had to paint the bottom and there's a higher tax on paint. 8. You fish five hours without a bite and have a few cans of beer that cost more, due to the new beer tax. 9. You fish three hours more and finally catch one. It's pretty small, but you celebrate with another drink from a flask on which there was a higher levy. 10. You get home and call a friend to tell him about the "one that smashed all my rig-gin' rig-gin' and musta weighed fifteen pounds." It takes another drink to put you Into your best form as a liar. 11. You wake up the next morning morn-ing with a bad cold. This calls for hot whisky. You stay abed all day, smoking cigarettes. 12. You get up and start for the office the third day, but the car won't start. It seems you ran low on oil during the fishing trip and will need a new part which will cost you 20 per cent more, due to new taxes. 13. This brings on a relapse. 14. You call the doctor. He finds you have high blood pressure, a leaky valve, a touch of pneumonia, a fever and a rapid pulse. He says you are too tense. He advises you TO GO FISHING AND CHARGES YOU $10. REAL NEWS NEWSREEL Rudy Halley, new political sensation, sensa-tion, entered Columbia at 15 and got his start as a counsel to the Truman Committee in his early twenties. But the important thing is that he got a video start in his thirties . . . Fulton Oursler's "The Greatest Book Ever Written" should help restore the Bible in the American Amer-ican home . . . The Garble Sisters got so mixed up lsst week that they thought Rudolph Halley won the International In-ternational jump, that the voters passed the amendment authorizing more horse shows and that Sharkey was knocked out by Colonel Mariles of the Mexician Army team . . . Would you sum up the New York election by saying Tammany was the victim of a "Halley-ween" party? |