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Show . ONCE OVfR 1 Malik Puts the Kids Straight By H. I. PHILLIPS Mm ELL US THE STORY of David and Goliath," the kiddies implored im-plored Mr. Jacob Malik, Soviet delegate del-egate to the security council. "I will be glad to do so," said Mr. Malik. "It is a well-known fact that Goliath was a friend of free peoples everywhere. He was going peacefully about his business when he was attacked by a vassal of the ruling circles. There are those who have spread the absurd charge that Goliath was a giant. It is, however, a well-known fact that he was a midget. His nickname was 'Shorty," a fact only the shameless flunkies of the capitalistic states will deny." "Did he have any other nicknames?" nick-names?" chorused the kiddies. "Yes. He was also called The Runt' and Pewee," " said Mr. Malik. "The giant in the dispute was a man named David. I am pleased to introduce photostatic copies of records showing he was nine feet tall." e j "How tall?" asked a child. "Ten feet," said Mr. Malik. "What was that?" asked a translator. "Eleven feet," said Mr. Malik. "And he wore a helmet of brass and a coat of mail weighing five thousand shekels of brass. The staff of his spear was like a weaver's beam." "We thought it was Goliath who wore all that armor," said the children. 'You have been victims of Imperialistic Im-perialistic propaganda. It was David. He was the aggressor. Goliath was a wholly inoffensive inoffen-sive fellow with a sling and a few pebbles." "That was David whn had to depend on the sling and pebbles," peb-bles," Insisted the kiddles. "I am sorry to see that yon are tools of the obstructionist ruling circles, willingly swallowing swallow-ing the stories they so brntally circulate," said Mr. Malik. "The matter of David and Goliath Go-liath is hereby closed." "'Can't we hear the story of Cinderella Cin-derella and the wicked sisters," asked the kiddies. "It is illegally on the agenda, but let me brief you quickly on this case, in the interest of truth. Cinderella Cin-derella wound up married to royalty. roy-alty. Her sisters never got anywhere. any-where. This is sufficient to dispose of the ridiculous efforts of gaulei-ters gaulei-ters to put them in an unfavorable light. They were determined to get along on their own. They sought no alliance with the fairy godmother. They firmly rejected the white mice and the pumpkin approach which is the familiar routine of the craven monopolists." "Can we hear Red Riding Hood once again?" asked on of the children. chil-dren. "You always make that so different." "I cannot rule on that unless the Wolf is seated here," said Mr. Malik. "It is illegal to seat Miss Hood and her grandmother here unless the wolf is also present. It is a well-known fact that the wolf was fighting for its life. I have a copy of a photo showing grandma standing in a trench with Foster Dulles the day before the trouble broke eut." "We thought the wolf ate grandma," grand-ma," chorused the kiddies. "You have been listening to Washington and its cowardly vassals vas-sals in this council," said Mr. Malik. "The aggressiveness of grandmothers and the lunch-basket approach of their grandchildren are well-known." |
