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Show I ; , Chatter Box ' ear Suzy, " I Now that it has really frozen the I veather is no longer a topic of ; i onversation. Those that hit the jack pot are enquiring as to whether wheth-er there is a limit to the number of Cadillacs a dealer will sell, and are getting a nice assortment of travel folders in readiness for extended ex-tended trips. Those who didn't hit the jack pot are planning on doing so next year so that they can catch up with .the paTade. While all this wealth is being splashed about locally people in ' our sister town to the east, Oak City, are . having a lough lime making both ends meet. A report comes from there that one guy is so hard up he had to steal the fruit bottles off the graves in the Oak City cemetery so his wife could put up fruit he snitched from his neighbors. There are those that hope the fruit bottles have ghosts in them so that the man will be haunted especially hard this winter. win-ter. And if they don't have ghosts in them they hope the fruit spoils. Conditions must be tough when it drives one to steal from a cemetery. ceme-tery. I finally found out why George Cahoon wanted to become one of our legislators. It is a long story and dates back to the days when banks were shakier than a Democratic Demo-cratic officeholders in these times. George was out in Vernal working for the Peppard Seed company and had placed his savings in the local banks there' Each morning he would go into town and take the pulse of the bank to see if it would live that day, and then retire to his home to await the next day. One day somebody out of breath told him that the bank didn't open that morning. George barged into town with blood in his eyes to see the whys and wherefores of the closed bank, and was moaning the loss of his savings. He shook the bank door firmly, but it was of rather sturdy stdff and he failed to open it. He went about town loudly proclaiming his loses to any and all who would list en. Finally he went to the post office of-fice to buy a stamp so he could mail a letter to Charlie Peppard ask ing him for enough to buy a cup of coffee and a ticket home, but he found the post office closed, too. Things really did look tough for George at this point, especially especial-ly when a post office closes. As they never care how far a post office of-fice goes in the red, they keep them open. Closer inspection of the window showed that it was closed for Labor La-bor Day. George heaved a sigh of relief and reasoned that the bank would probably open the following ) morning. It did and George was the first in line to get his savings and put them in a nice clean sock. He says he wanted the get in the legislature to pass a law that banks couldn't close without giving giv-ing the patrons a long warning ahead of time to that no sleep would be lost when they closed for holidays. And in case they were going to the wall for keeps, it would give the early birds a chance to pull out a worm before the vaults snapped shut on it. George must have been a worrier wor-rier in those days, because this year at a crucial time in the fall, he left his seed out in the field standing nice and straight and went to Logan for the wedding of his son. He was away the Sunday night the first warning came and didn't cut his seed, with the result that he has a bumper crop now and can, if he wants to, buy himself him-self a bank and open and close it when he pleases. George could also have passed a law that fathers shouldn't play with their son's playthings, especially espec-ially if they want to keep out of trouble. If he had done that I am sure that he would have found staunch backing in Dudley Crafts, local attorney and experimenter. It seems that David, Dudley's son, had sent away for a tropicol hammock ham-mock and was enjoying himself no end this past summer sleeping outside in it. It hapened that David Da-vid was away that night, and Mel-ba Mel-ba had gone to Garden Club, so Dudley decided that he would look into this plaything of David's and see if it was safe for fathers as well as sons. He thought the roes looked a little slack so he tightened tight-ened them up so they were nice and straight. The hammock had a level appearance and so Dudley climbed in to see how it was. He zippered shut the opening and was as snug as a bug in a rug in this closed in hammock, complete wij:h roof, mosquito and bug proof, and he was as happy as a shoat in a granary. He wanted to try it for size so he turned over, I mean he started to turn over, when the hammock completed the job, leaving Dudley reclining on the roof of the thing while he stared up as best he could in the dark, at what should have been where he was esconced. Now Dudley is a calm man and takes things rather methodically. He reasoned that all he had to do to get out was unzipper the side and slide out. He was foiled on this as he couldn't find the zipper. After hunting for 'it for an hour and a half he gave up and put more thought .on how to get out. He figured he could cut his way out with his pocket knife. That did not work, either, as he was wedged in the hammock in such a manner that he couldn't reach his knife. Now Dudley really did do some thinking. He thought if could only get hold of the catalog he got the hammock from he could send for a machete and then hack his way out when it arrived. He knew, of course, that he couldn't write out an order even if he had the blank ias he had left his fountain pen in the house, and so that was out. His various means and methods of getting out were au Hops and he knew he would have to wait for Melba to come home and zip him out of his predicament. He hoped that Garden Club wasn't too long that night and that Melba would get home early. Melba arrived ar-rived rather late and couldn't find Dudley any place in the house. She went outside and heard some muttering mut-tering and finally found him, as we all' knew she would. She said, "Dudley don't you think you'll catch cold out here with no blankets? blank-ets? And, anyway what will David say if he knows you used his hammock?" ham-mock?" Dudley's reply should have been couched in language fitting and proper for an attorney, but I am s'orry to relate it was not what could be put in print, or even used in a court room. He pleaded his case with Melba to please unzipper un-zipper the confounded thing and let him out so he could go to bed in a decent bed, and not in this topsy-turvy arrangement he was in. Melba unzippered the side and Dudley's exit was rather undignified undigni-fied but very satisfactory to him. Since that time he has let David's playthings alone, and he has suffered suf-fered no ill by doing so. I have heard of couples when they were courting in a hammock come to an abrupt end, but this is the first time I ever heard of an attorney for getting into a predicament predica-ment he couldn't talk himself out of. Toots. |