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Show OVER THE TELEPHONE i MANY AND VARIED ARE THE MESSAGES MES-SAGES SENT. It Rescues Girls from Undesirable Callers, Aids in Reuniting Parted Lovers, and Has Numberless Other Recommendations. Wo have becomo so used to Including Includ-ing tho telcphono among the comforts of homo thnt It Is doubtful now If wo really appreciate all of Its advantages. Tho telephone Is more than nn Instrument Instru-ment over which to talk to tho butcher and baker, It H a ncdlum sometimes for furthering trcoon and strntcgem and acquiring Hpolli. Docs a young womnu receive a call from n masculine friend who bores her to extinction and 3ho bo ingonl-ous, ingonl-ous, sho gives her brother or sister, or, ns legal documents say, her next friend, a look of entreaty, nnd directly ho disappears, and almost Immediately Immediate-ly tho telephone rings and tho young woman Is summoned, and comes back to say that her grandmother is 111 In tho next block nnd sho must go to her at once. When tho visitor has departed the rescued ono thanks hor rcscuor warmly warm-ly nnd adds n blessing for tho tele-phono tele-phono Itself, such Is tho Intensity of her gratitude. Sometimes tho telcphono saves tho self-respect of young men who havo quarreled with their sweethearts. To go back to pay n visit, aftor ho has flung hlmsolf out of a house declaring ho will never darken Its doors again, would not bo consistent with any masculine's mas-culine's dignity, but It cannot bo considered con-sidered as n confession thnt ho was In error In his premises If ho call up tho young woman who has insulted him by telophono tho next day but one, and asks her In n voice mado carefully frigid any ono of tho following questions: ques-tions: Havo I any books of yours which you wish mo to return? How shall I send your letters back, by mall or by messenger? Will It incommode you at all If I send to your houso to-night for my copy of Omar? Did I Injure tho glass In your front door whon I shut it night before last? I am afraid I used almost too much emphasis. Do you still wish mo to tako you to tho theater, or shall I send you tho tickets and allow you to select your nwn escort? unii UDLUIll If the young woman replies with proper tact, diplomatic relations will bo resumed In n shorter tlmo than It takes to wrlto all this, for It Is ten to ono tho young man Is In tho drug Btoro on tho nearest corner, although his volco sounds as far away as tho polar Icebergs. It Is a mighty good thing, by-tho-by, that that Invention ha3 never been perfected that was onco talked of and that was designed to permit the users of telephones to seo each other whllo conversing, for not only would this bo Inconvenient to tho mon who declaro they are In their ofllces, when in reality real-ity they aro at tho club engaging In, tho great Ametlcnn game, but also would t bo exceedingly dhagrccablo to tho young woman who holds conversations con-versations over tho wire with the man who admires her most with her golden hair hanging down hor back and wearing wear-ing hor bathrobe, for such things nro. Irangtno tho feollngs of tho youth who expects to take a girl Into dinner at 7:30 o'clock, when sho Is clad llko the lilies of tho field, calling her up an hour beforo this tlmo, only to behold her with an aureolo of curl papers around her head and a dab of powdor on her sweat nosol This Is purely a fancy plcturo, for curl papers aro ns much out of date as crinoline, and powder went out with the fashion of wearing tho hair in queues; but, just far argument's sake, try to tmnglno such n contretemps, Would It not break up many a promising prom-ising affair of tho heart? To return to our mutton, tho telephone tele-phone Is a most vuluablo Invention. It reunites loving hearts and It furnishes reasons for Jealousy to lovers who nocd prodding, nnd excuses to those who wish to get away from boros but It Is grcnt enough as It Is, and wo do not want any Improvements with It In tho lino of machines to seo around corners. Wo havo troubles enough already, nnd too much knowledgo doesn't add to any one's happiness. Baltimore Nows. |
