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Show , i ! Ma..ii ..wty jMj SJBpBSBBBBBM Made It Clear. Tho patient rushed up tho dentist's stops with a bill in his hand. "Look hero!" ho said. "You'ro asking ask-ing me to pay for two moro sittings thnn I hnd." "Thoso wore engagements you failed to keep," explained tho dentist. "Wo always chargo for absent treat-nont," treat-nont," , Merely a Suggestion. "I suppose," said tho scoffer, "you :an call up any spirit I want to talk ;o?" "Perhaps," replied tho buslnossllko medium, pocketing tho proffered coin, -but wouldn't you rnthor call somo spirit down, young man?" Not So Sure About That. "Thoy say that doath loves a shining shin-ing mark." "Does ho? Well, It seems to me I'vo notlcod that tho fellows who woro the most gold lace had no troublo In dodging danger when any real fighting; fight-ing; was going on." Inference Was Natural. Caller Is tho editor in? Offlco Boy No; ho's 111. Caller I wonder if or, ho got the poom I sent him? Offlco Boy I told you he was 111, didn't I? Stray Stories. A Clear Case. Jaggles I see tho scientists have determined that only tho malo parrots learn to talk. Waggles That's probably so, to Judgo from tho language thoy use. New York Times. JRIED TO GET A LOT FOR HIS MONEY, Judgo Knox You are charged with scorching. What made you run the automobile so fast? Smith I was hiring It by the hour. Living Drama. "I am supposed to dlo of a broken heart," said tho unmanageable actress. act-ress. "Now, how am I to know how a person with a broken heart behaves?" "Ml toll you what to do," answered tho cold-blooded manager. "You study tho author of this play after ho sees your first performance of it." Effective. BJenks "Do you believe In the pos- ' blllty of tho cure of disease by sug- stIon?" EJInks "Why, certainly. I wns ellng protty sick last week, and my .." suggested that I go to a doctor aud It cured mo right away." Unnecessary. "Havo you given Mr. Stalolght any oncouragoment?" asked tho lmpatlont mother. "No, mamma," replied tho confident daughter; "so far I haven't found It necessary." Special. Patron "How It Is thoso programs begin with tlio second act?" Manager "Oh, thoy are Intondcd for tho boxos. Y'ou know, tho ultra theater-goers nover arrive beforo tho second act." No Cause to Worry. Mr. Bacon When all tho fools arc dead I don't want to bo alive. Mrs. Bacon Well, don't worry; you won't bo. In Evidence. BB Knlckcr Did sho display presence BB of mind when tho mouse appcaredt BB Bockcr No; absenco of silk stock- Bl HOW IT, HAPPENED. H V: V j-J BBB He Poor Jack I It It hadn't been for hla wife ho would have spent nil BJ fortune in a year. BJ Ho How was that? J "Well, sho spent it for him." The Real Need. BJ "I'd llko to have somo good, old- BJ fashioned homo cooking," Bald the Bfl man with a permanent sour oxpres- Bfl sion. Bfl "What you mean," said the physl- H clan, "Is that you would like to havo Bfl tho digestion that you had when you BJ were a boy." BJ Saw Her Mistake. H Mr. Plain You aro suro to admire BJ him. He Is a strikingly handsome BJ man. BJ Mls3 Rosebud I'm glad ho Is. I H simply detest homely men. (Sudden- BJ ly starting and blushing) Oh, I bee H your pardonl I didn't mean to say BJ that! Foreign to His Belief. I "I begin to suspect," said Mrs. Old- H castlo, "that your husband Is a good H deal ot an altruist." BJ "Oh, no," her hostess replied, BJ "Josiah ain't ono ot them at all. He H thinks things Just happen according BJ to the way thoy aro at tho time." H His Soul. I "Do you know," said tho Sunday- H school teacher, addressing a now pupil BJ in tho infant class, "that you have a soul?" BJ "Course I do," replied tho little fel- low, placing his hand over his heart H "I can feol It tick." BJ No Doubts Aoout It. I "How do you know It Is rheuma- I tism?" asked his friend. "You haven't I seen a doctor." BJ "I know what It Is, all right," replied tho victim. "Rheumatism 1b one ot thoso things that doesn't need aa Introduction." THERE ARE OTHER8., Miss Cutting Sho suffors a great dual for her beliefs. Morton What aro her bellofs7 Miss Cutting Sho believes she can wear a No. 2 shoo on a No. 4 foot, and a 25-Inch corsot on a 32-lnch waist. |