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Show WRECKED BY A DOG COUPLE'S HAPPINES8 A THING OF THE PAST. Junior Clerk' Wedding Preterit Turned Out a Thing of Dire Dii-aster Dii-aster Now Dear Mother-in-law It with Him. "Ilccauso I'm-m-m Marrlcd-dddd Now-w-w," tho office boy was near singing, and tho nolso caused the Junior elerk to turn uneasily on hlv hlKh stool. "Regular Italian, always harpln' on something," ha muttered; "wonder you can't let up on something once In a while." The office boy changed the tune and began to whistle, but the Junior clerk's temper became no bet' ter. "Well," the offlco boy said, "loosen up an' get It out of. your system. There's somcthla.' comln'. Might as well tell It It'll worry you If you don't." "Klddln' mo about It?" "Now, gwan." "We've busied up housekeepln' for tho present,' the Junior clerk said. "An' right after we'd started, too. You know Emallno an' I got one o' these foolish flats ono of that kind that you gotta go Into sideways an' then slide out again to turn around, one of that kind where you can sneeze In the "kitchen an' ruffle'' th' curtains in the parlor at th' same time. Well, as I was sayln', we moved In an' then Emallno Ema-llno started lookln' over her weddln' presents. Honest, never saw so much cut glass an' all that kind of Junk rousta beeu a carload. Well, Emaline gets it all out an' plies It on the dlnin' room table an' Just about that time I remembered I hadn't bought -tier any present "'Do back in a minute,' I says as 1 Jams on my hat an' starts out Got down th' street a little way an' somebody some-body stops me. " 'Wanta buy a dog?' be asks, point-In' point-In' to the worst lookln' bulldog I 'ever aw. "'Just what Emallno wants,' I thought "I'll get it; 'Gentle?' I asks. "'Gentle as a flock of lambs,' th' guy said, 'lessen you grab 'm by th' shoulders an' point 'lm where you want him to bite. He'll get It all right' "I forked over $8.92 an' started home with the insect. "Emallno was still a-fussin with th' cut glass an' the hand-painted china I when I blew in with Xonophon. I " 'Who's Xcnopuon?" the 'office boy 1 Inquired. I "The dog think it was a box car? I Yessir, Emaline was Just dippy about I th' thing. Looked at him for a minute an' then asks If he'll bite. a " 'Will he blto?' I asks, 'all ybu gotta do Is grab him like this an ' " 'Y-a-a-a-h-hh,' Emallno yells, an' 4 starts for the parlor an' the dog right . after her. He thought I'd 'steed' blm ' an' he certainly was goln' the limit I 4 tried to hold on to the chain, but that J brute sure was strong. Jerked me oft , my feet an' dragged me along Just as ' If I wasn't anything at all. Emaline dodged 'round the table an' the dog went right after her, chewlnl air at j every Jump. Got me tangled up In the table an' the next thing I know I was trying to swim out of two wagon loads of broken glass an' china. Emaline , rushed into the bathroom an' shut the door. But that didn't stop Zenophon. I He butted tho door like a goat- an' pulled me through after him. - . "'Hold him!' I shouts; 'think I'm a derrick? Why don't you get out the way?' 'Bout that time Emaline seea a i shotgun an' grabs it. Then she trips ( an' falls. Gun went off an' blew a hole through the floor of the flat above. Things were gettln' serious. , '"Bout that time ono of Emallne's i Bhoes came oft an' Xonophon grabbed It. He swallowed It whole an' that'a ' Just wat saved us. Thing got stuck in his throat an' choked him to death. I " 'Bigamist!' Emaline yells when it's all over. "Tired of mo already! Wanta ' kill mo an; marry again.'" I "An' I supposo she's gone home to i mother?" the offlco boy Interrupted. "Worse'n that, worse'n that," the ' Junior clerk murmured sadly. "She's ) goln" to bring her mother to live with i us." KanBas City Star. |