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Show Shears & Sawbuck, Chicago Story of Farmer Hayrick's Experience with a Big Catalogue and an Eastern House. Shears and Sawbuck kept a store Such as never was before. City folks thev wouldn't sell, Couldn't let 'em have a smell. Fetched their money but by Jlng, Couldn't buy a blessed tiling, Couldn't meet 'em face to face And then sell 'cm with good grace. Country trade was what they solicit, Folks who'd pay for what they bought 'Fore they saw It, hide or tall. They sent catalogues by mail Out to every blessed one Gittln' mall at Possum Hun. Wc set up at night aril? read When we'd orter been In bed. Hook was 'bout as big as sin-Mad sin-Mad a lot of pictures In, And a list of merchandise, Every kind and every size " Glvln' prices that they swore Knocked out every country store. Looked so straight and seemed so true I bit at It Jim did, -too. Jim's my neighbor 'cross the way, llest man ever woikcd in hay, . Just let him top oil a stack, Sheds rain liko a turtle's back. Pleasure jest to see him work, Never kuew ol' Jim to shirk; Swings a scythe like it was play, Love to watch him In the way. Well, wo like a pair of fcols Sent off got some'hayln' tools. Jim got harness and a plow, I, a range 1 see It now; Drat the thing, it was so light Used It for a torch at night; Throw'd the darn thing In the jard, Use It now for renderln' lard. 'Fore Jim used the plow an hour Found the blame thing wouldn't scour; Tried his harness broke a tug Sought for solace In his jug-In jug-In the cooler nil that night Jim reflected on his plight; In the morning, Richard Stout, Hardware merchant, balled him out. Jim said after that he'd stick-Close stick-Close as bark to good ol' Dick. Since lie left the Possum Jail Sas he won't buy goods by mall. Sajs Dick's cheaper, anyhow Might havo saved some on the plow, On the olher goods somo more, At his old. friend's hardware store. Jim si) s. 'Wocin't sell no truck To slch folks as Shears-Sawbuck. The'll lake all our cash away, Hut won't buy our corn or hay." That seemed purly strange to me, So I told ol' Jim I'd sec So 1 wrote lo them that night .list to sec If Jim was right. A st' 'em, "What they'd pay for oats? Could they use some likely shents? Had about four tons of hay I could ship 'cm light away. Could I furnish Mr. Shears With his family roastln' ears? Also would my filcud Sawbuck Huy some of mv garden truck?'' Answer came one summer day. Said they couldn't use our hay. Couldn't use our oats or shoals, Didn't like our billy goats. When they needed truck tu eat llought It down on Water stieet Sorry, but they must refuse An) thing but cash to use." I sat down an' wrote 'em then; "Ilato to trouble you again, Hut I want to thank jou, sirs, For jour bunch of cockle burrs. If you love your feller man, Do him good, sirs, when jou can-While can-While our merchants sweetly sleep Shears and Sawbuck shear your shcepl Anonymous. |