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Show A Graduate on "Man" The following purports to be an essay es-say on "Man," written by one of the county graduates recently. It shows a wonderful observation, to say the least. He says: Man is born into the world, He Is at once attacked by nettle rash.croup, measles and the whooping cough. He has the colio before his lirst teeth are cut and when he Is swindled we say he has the colic before his eye teeth arc cut. If he escapes the scarlet fever and the mumps, he finds directly In his way scarlet rash and tho seven year Itch. If he's not carried oil by a hearse before ho Is too large for short pants he still stands a show of cutting cutt-ing off one of his toes, being kicked by a mule or getting shot with a target 1 Hie In the hands of a boy that "didn't know It was loaded." He gets his feet wet, runs at the nose and Is scolded by his parents for going swimming on Sunday. He goes to tho circus, rides on tho metry-go-round and hits the dignified old gentle gen-tle In the back of the head with a snowball before he Is well In his teens. He now reaches the stage where he gathers watermelons In the light of the moon, cats green apples and lays out of nights. The fuzz begins to grow on his upper lip and he blushes when he sees a girl, until his hair scorches. He next develops into a "smart Alec," and his parents arc undecided un-decided whether to shoot him for smoking cigarettes or turn him ocr to an asylum manager as n confirmed lunatic. Man Is subject to typhoid fever, pneumonia, spinal meningitis, smallpox and his own Intemperance. Ho Is beset by disease, Indebtedness and breach of promise suits until It is a wonder that any of us score three score and ten. If ho escapes a famine, pestilence and war, he does his best to shorten his days by keeping his boiler oerloaded with Inferior boc.e. He is subject to sick headache, lumbago and Inllammatory rheumatism until he cries aloud that his last stage Is worse than his first. He wears false hair, false teeth and goes to Jail for getting money tinder false pretense. |
