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Show The girl with the shovel hat appears to be scooping all before her. . The Bashi-Bazouks continue to live up to the horrible name they bear. "Marconigraph" is a frightfully clumsy word to indicate so speedy a process. Spain still controls the Cuban shoe market, though she no lpnger has any footing in the island. The man who knows when he is well off 'ought to know enough also to keep still about it. In the light of recent events, the automobile would confer a favor by committing race suicide. When Mark Twain declared there were but seven fundamental jokes, he omitted to name the other six. Since Sir Thomas has so much to say about "lifting" the cup, why don't he call his yacht the Derrick? Concerning the alleged spelling reform re-form it is hard to say ' which is the more exasperating "thru ' or "thro." An anonymous benefactor has sent the Cooper union $250,000. Uncle Russell Sage heads the list of suspects. sus-pects. We don't know whether it is true that strawberries are a cure for rheumatism rheu-matism or not. We eat them as a preventive. Also, a little common sense judiciously judi-ciously applied would often prove a valuable prophylactic against the divorce di-vorce fever. If Violinist Kocian has tears to shed over a mere fiddle, what would he do if he, had to start up a furnace along about the first of June? . - 1 , It may be that the French do not intend in-tend to settle in Morocco, but they are giving a correct imitation of a nation na-tion with such intentions. Perhaps in expelling the London Times correspondent Russia just wanted, want-ed, to show the world that it was still a lap" afiercrfjrnrbirarn.- Somewhere behind a cloud of dust Rudyard Kipling is thundering ' down the international highway with a poem that will contain a ryhme for Kishi-neff. Kishi-neff. If you don't believe that time is money, take a glance at the bill of. the dressmaker who has been holding your wife's new gown back for three weeks. Reading of the celebration of all the birthday anniversaries of good people should remind you to celebrate your wife's birthday the next time it comes , around. The price of ice has again advanced In New York. This is doubtless due to the same immutable natural law that raised the price of coal throughout the country. Rumor has it that Mrs. Potter Palmer Pal-mer is casting about for No. 2 and that the Prince of Monaco is looking for No. 3. Both would do well to have a care for No. 1. A peculiar merit of the proposed Swedish system of fat taxation is that it would be impossible for the taxpayer tax-payer to hide his taxable embonpoint from the assessors. The Times, the News and the Bee of Toledo have been consolidated. ' The new managers now have an excellent opportunity not to call the new paper the Times-News-Bee. After having been engaged to a college col-lege professor for a week a Chicago girl ran away with a brakeman. Chicago's Chi-cago's professors are themselves infinitely in-finitely more surprising than this bit of news. Those Russians will not really know what they are up against until the Standard oil company begins the usual exercise of gently boosting the price of oil at about the rate of a cent a gallon a month. The minister who wants women to solve the servant girl problem by doing the housework themselves must be one of those unfortunate people who never have had a chance to know many women well. A German professor has discovered an infallible cure for insomnia. It is to be hoped that the cure will make it unnecessary in the future for certain people to go to church for the purpose of getting a little sleep. |
