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Show THE SEASON. PRINCESS CHARMING. "I am sorry, George, you don't admire my new dress," said the young wife. "Everybody says it is charming." "Your friends, my dear, pay you com pliments; i pay your Dins, repiieu ner husband. Tit-Bits. LIVE MOTHS ARE USEFUL. Mrs. McCall Putting away your old sealskin coat, eh? They're queer looking camphor, balls you're stowing away with it. Mrs. Kute Camphor balls? Not much! These are live moths. I want them to get in their work on this old thing so my husband will. have to buy me a new one j next winter. Catholic Standard and Times. V AIN'T NO SUCH THING. "Whst we need most in this country," said the political reformer, "Is an honest count." "They ain't no such thing." declared Mr. Nuritch. "I know all about 'em, for my daughter married one." Philadelphia Press. DID ONE CLEVER THING. The Lady Jack, why don't you write a book, or paint a picture, or do something clever? The Gentleman Because I selected a millionaire for a father, and I think that was clever enough to last a lifetime. Pearson's Weekly. NOT A FACULTY. She Have you noticed that I have a faculty for falling in love? He Faculty? No, ficklety. Yale Record. Rec-ord. WHY SHE CAME. Young Husband (to wife) Didn't I telegraph tele-graph you not to bring your mother with you? Young Wife I know; that's what she wants to see you about. She read the telegram. DIDN'T MOLLIFY HER. Henry Pack Yes, my dear, I shall swear devotion to you with my last-breath. last-breath. Mrs. Tcck Just like you, Henry. I suppose you really will take that long to appreciate me. REGULAR GALE. "My love Is like the breeze." he sang, "So lightly, blithely going." And now he's married he bewails Her everlasting blowing. Detroit Free Press. MOST ANCIENT. Grandpa My father used to tell me that all play and no work made Jack a lazy boy. Harry Did he? Is that chestnut as old as that? Puck. t HAD THE CHANCE. "No. sir," she replied haughtily, "I would not marry the best man on earth." "I know you wuldn t," retorted the rejected re-jected one: "but if you live to be an old maid, it will be gratifying to think that you once had the opportunity." Stray Stories. HAD HIS HAIR CUT. "How will you have your hair cut?" queried the talkative barber. "Off." snapped the disagreeable patron. And the barber cut on. Boston Globe. SALTY ENOUGH NOW. Neptune See here, little girl, you must stop crying in my ocean; It's salty enough as It ls.--Harper's Magazine. |