OCR Text |
Show L i THAT REMINDS ME-- i KEEP A-GOIN". If you strike a thorn or rose, Keep a-go'n' ! If it hails or if it snows. Keep a-goin'! 'Taint no use to sit and whine When the fish ain't cn your line; Bait your hook and keep on tryin' Keep a-goin'! When thf weather kills your crop. Keep a-goin' ! When yot tumble trnra the top. Keep a-goin' '. S'pose you're out o 'every dime? Gettin' broke ain't any crime; Tell the worlil you're i'eelin' prime! Keep a-goin"! When it looks like all is up, j Kef p a-goin' ! Drain the sweetnrss from the cup, I Keep a-goin'! ' See thei wild birds on the wing! Hear the bells that sweetly ring! When you feel like sighin' lng! Keep a-goin' ! BEX BUTLER'S WAY. "No lawyer of this country, took :uieli liberties with the court as General P.ut-ler." P.ut-ler." said a Bostonian. "He ran riot over judges iind juries, and in his later years was even petted and humored by opposing oppos-ing counsel. I happened to be in court on an occasion when he was defending a client charged with a most serious offense of-fense against the community. The case attracted great attention. On the third uay me ueiwmaiu uiu not appear ami ine judge asked Butler to be good enough to produce him. 'It is impossible, your honor.' hon-or.' said the general. 'But the business of the, court must proceed. The learned counsel will produce the defendant." said the judge, severely. Butler repeated: 'Your honor, it is impossible. The defendant de-fendant is not in my keeping. After a consultation with him last night I came to the conclusion that he was guilty and felt that it was my duty, as his legal adviser, ad-viser, to warn him to leave the state immediately. He departed, your honor, without informing me of his destination ' The jury laughed outright and the sol emn judge had to retire to his room to conceal his risibles." WHO WHIPPED CERVERA? (Josh Wink in Baltimore American.) (With apologies to the unknown author j of "Who Killed Cock Robin?'") Who whipped Cervera? Sampson says: " 'Twas I. Because I wasn't present To make the fight more pleasant For'everyone but Schley." Who whipped Cervera? Crowninshield now says: "I fixed the matter So that the foe would scatter, A rwl T flncon-o mnxh nraUo " Who whipped Cervera? "I," is heard from Long. "Ere the guns were blazing t I was Sampson praising. And made my praises strong." Who whipped Cervera? "I," indites Maclay. "I did it with my writing About the foolish fighting At Santiago bay." Who whipped Cervera? "I," says "Fighting "''""j ' j MISNOMERS. j The two fleas that' had been traveling with the menagerie were comparing notes. "I can't "see why they call that animal the musk ox." said one of the two. "He doesn't smell a bit like musk." "Neither can I understand," said the other, "why they call that animal In the next cage a cinnamon bear. He doesn't tastei at all like cinnamon." HIGH QUALIFICATION. "Can lie cook?" asked the proprietor of the restaurant. "Cook?" echoed the caller, who was rooting for a friend out of a job. "Can he cook? Say, I've aeen that man make fcur 1 squab pies out ot one old pigeon! NOTABLE EXCEPTION. "It's always the man with one idea ths L succeeds in life," the strong minded woman wom-an observed. girl with the Julia Marlowe dimple. "The only idea Harold Billmore has had in his head for six years is that I'll marry him some day. And I wouldn't do it if he were the last man on earth!" THE DOCTOR AND THE PROFESSOR "I wouldn't say 'easy as A B C,' if 1 were in your place, I think," said the professor. "Can anything be easier than .A B C?" asked the doctor, firing up. "Certainly," rejoined the professor. "E. Z. R." "How much do you ask for this basket of grapes'" asked Mrs. Tyte-Phlst of the suburban grocer. "Twenty-five cents," said the grocer. "I can get grapes down town just like 'em for 20." "When I said 23 I was answering a question of this other customer. You can have those grapes for 15 cents a basket." bas-ket." "I can get the same kind down town for 10," responded Mrs. Tyte-Phist. POOR CHL'MPLEIGH! "Whv, pa. this is roast beef!" exclaimed ex-claimed little Willie at dinner on the evening when Mr. Chumpleigh was present pres-ent as the' guest of honor. "Of course," said the father. "What of that?" "Whv, you told ma this morning that vou were going to bring a 'mutton head' home for dinner this evening." j |