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Show VAGARIES OF PSEUDO SCIENTISTS. A certain college professor has stated that baboons in Africa pull teeth. So he has been quoted in the daily press. The aforesaid statement state-ment is no news to the writer. I remember a monkey-faced dentist who one day tried to pull one of mine. I say tried, because this two-legged baboon to whom I have reference made such a botch of the job that it could not be called a success, suc-cess, by any means. In fact, it seemed-as though he was endeavoring to murder me. I am not really sure whether he was a jackass or a simple simian, but he certainly did torture me. He had missed his vocation. Mr. College Professor need not go to Africa to find baboons pulling teeth and doing lots of other stunts, too. According to the jar-us theory of the descent of man which I read not long ago, and which jarred me considerably, Almighty God made the first baboons in the Garden of Eden. Adam was the baboons and Eve was the babooness, and God commanded them not to eat of the fruit of one particular tree probably a cocoanut tree but the serpent tempted them and they did cat. Now, the Creator, coming and rinding what they had done, was exceedingly angry, saying to them, according to the jar-us theory: "I made you two happy baboons, but because you' have disobeyed me in this matter, I will now make you of different dif-ferent shapes altogether. I will make you human beings, the same as Myself, and you will both have to work for your living." When Adam and Eve, the two original baboons, heard this dreadful sentence, sen-tence, they were filled with dismay and horror. Adam pleaded strenuously to God not to do such a terrible thing, and let them remain baboons, but his solicitation was of no avail, because the Supreme Su-preme Sovereign was too determined and was grievously griev-ously offended, besides. So human beings they became, be-came, and a very sad state they had fallen into, Adam was very much wounded in spirit because he had lost his beautiful baboon shape, and he said to Eve: "Future scientists will call us the missing link, and that grieves me more than all else." Why not let us be sincere and carry out this ancestral monkey theory to its logical conclusion ? Whatever our forebears were, so are the descendants. descend-ants. If they were missing links of the same habits hab-its and shapes of simians, then so are we. Tho mere developing change of form alters the .case not one bit. If our ancestors were animal shaped, then our mothers, wives, sisters and children are no better than the dogs of the street. If God did noi maKe rne r.rst Tamer ana moiner oi me numan race, there is no moral law. The doctrine of doing right for right's sake is absolute rot and obnoxious humbug. A man would be an ignorant fool to deny himself any pleasure his flesh craved if there exist no paradise and no hell. Now, God puuL-hos us for moral violations, sending us for that purpose pur-pose all manner of misfortunes in the shape of mental and physical sufferings, and we know in our own heart that He does so, but under the simian theory of man's origin we have a perfect right to indulge in any pleasure the flesh craves and there is no one to punish us for doing whatever we like, no matter how infamous. Supposing this monkey business to be all right, we should begin political addresses thus: "My fellow monkeys and mon-keyesses, mon-keyesses, the tariff is not an issue," etc. "Let us not monkey with the Philippines." Let human beings take hope, for if we have developed from such things as protoplasms and baboons, wq may yet become elephants. God knows. N one really believes in these idiotic theories the-ories of teudo scientists but willfully blind beings, who. when they die, Almighty God should, as poetic justice for belittling His sacred image, make into real monkeys, baboons, horses and dogs. King David says in one of his psalms: "With bit and bridle bind fast their jaws who come not near unto Thee." So who knows but when tlv? stub born, ignorant followers of ridiculous teachers cho they get all that is coining to them? If transmi- gration of souls is true of, the damned, they richlv deserve it, for they lead many from the heights of heaven to the depths of perdition who might otherwise other-wise have entered into eternal rest but for tho wolves in sheep's clothing that were a stumbling block in this world. "Many there are who sleep in the dust of the earth." says Daniel of the Jews. "Some shall arise unto life eternal and many unto reproach to see it always." "Those that lead many to justice shall shine like stars for all eternity," says Isaias; and there are demons in the shape of rats, cats, serpents and all manner of hideous creeping spirits of squirming, squirm-ing, nameless things, crawling continuoxisly and forever through the mouths and nostrils of the souls of those who in this life robbed the toiler of his wage, the widow and the orphan of their daily bread, and spent their time in crushing the laborer in the dust, doling out injustice to their fellow men, in Satan's everlasting kingdoms of the God-haters, God-haters, says the writer. RICARDO. |