| OCR Text |
Show 0, YE TEARS! As an evidence of the progress of sciential- investigation, in-vestigation, the discovery of Dr. Lindahl ot" Copenhagen Co-penhagen (whoever he may be), that tears an- ,i disinfectant, falls upon an expectant world and adds force to the theory that uses some day will bt found for everything. Tin? dispatches are meager-regarding this startling discovery, but n. I doubt further investigations will disclose the healing heal-ing properties of these badges of sorrow, and in a few years we may expect a resuscitation of tin-narrow-necked vessels known as "tear bottW," found in the sepulchers of the ancient Komans. Tt transpires that tears lose their germicidal 1 properties after heating, so it is evident that "hot tears" are not as efficacious as a disinfectant a-? cold tears or those springing unbid into women's (and men's) ryes at theatrical performances of "Fast Lynne" or "Uncle Tom's Cabin." It is most natural to suppose, therefore, that other varirtio, of tears have different antiseptic qualities. The dewy drops that stand like pearls in the beautiful maiden's eyes in the love story must be far more valuable from a medical viewpoint than the copious copi-ous streams which wash down the small boy's face and leave it caked with mud. Or maybe, in the mysterious scheme of things, the small boy is saved from the devastation of the microbe by the potency of these same tears. And what effect those other tears, according t our best authorities on tears (excepting, of course, Dr. Lindahl) may have on the bacterial life which surrounds us, we await to know with impatience. Tears of joy, tears of sorrow, tears of mortification, mortifica-tion, tears of anger, tears of forgiveness, and the tears of slobbering, weak men oh, the gallons of tears which go to waste in the world! And the luscious spring onion which grows more in strength than in size, what microbe will meet his Waterloo in the ebullition following its mastication? Dr. Lindahl has opened a new and inviting field, and the government of Denmark should sub- t ;. sidize the investigation that the world may profit j by his discoveries. A bottle of tears, besides being equally efficacious as a disinfectant . a3 carbolic acid, would be "non-harmless and non-tastclcss" when the baby happened to find it and drank the contents. Long life and many tears to the genial ( doctor. f |
