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Show if IT I K ijihiOft CAUTIOUS. An Aiiierlcan nmbuhince driver In fhe Frencli nrmy, running over a road under heavy nhell (ire, saw a green driver with a truck In a shell hole hays Judge. "Stuck, old man?" "Yea, thin in my first time under (ire. You see, they always told me a phell never hits in the same place twice, so I drives Into this hole, and well, liy gum, pard, can't you pull me out?" Shakespearean Knowledge. "What Is the meaning of the word 'adage?' " a schoolmaster asked. "A place to put cats into," was the pupil's answer. "What put such an Idea into your head?" "Well, sir, doesn't it say In Shakespeare. Shake-speare. 'Like the poor cot In the adage?' " COULDN'T 'ia. 'i KEEP A JOB. T Powder Can: ll " 1 What's the mat- LSL Pistol: Oh, JjrAy I'm getting fired Jf .11 the time. nf Comment. . He is Indeed i, if is A dismal elf, Who cannot chuckle At himself. '- I H i . j m Mai de Mer. "A linguist has a great advantage at lea." "Eh?" "He can groan in several languages." r-v, ai'-- Believes In 'Em. "Boardly's th' most superstittou man I ever saw." "Superstitious?" "He's the sign painter, you know." Comparisons. "What a fine flush was on that pretty pret-ty little wife's cheek the other night." "Humph. It was nothing to the fine flush in her hijsband's hand." Financier. Bob Still in the hole? Jack Yes, I wish I could borrow enough to pay my debts and start again with a clean slate. r1'- Fatal Need. ." "Her face looked worn." ! "Yes, that's the worst thing about pome faces. People have to wear em." Quite Definite. "Where is your Mrs. Malaprop?" "She said she was going to the mezzotint floor to foam for her chef-fonyear." rir' i ,TT IN LEGISLA. T- (v.-! TIVE HALLS. ,jj 7 Did you se6 J rjy. ne lady sen- p4t ator? Jjpjls And -what iA R:rH was she doing: r ifwll when you saw I feij dering her noso. Safety First Full many a grave Is filled today By men who had The right of way. Sign of Wealth. "They must be very wealthy." "What makes you think so?" "They own a phonograph." "Shucks. Lots of people own pho-Eographs." pho-Eographs." "I know, hut they keep theirs supplied sup-plied with the very latest records," Quite Up to Date. Old Friend So you are engaged? Ethel Oh, yes; he's nothing but a flat, but he has a motorcar, flying machine and pots of money. Old Friend Then he's what you'd cnll n modern flat with all conveniences, conveni-ences, I suppose? London Tit-Bits. The Reason. "Does your chauffeur gossip about four affairs that you cull him a leaky -essel?" "No; I call him thnt because I am Uways balling hlin out." |
