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Show Menelilt is dead again, or at last. The hookworm grows fat In the spring. The "wanderlust" season Is here. The shoe man smiles. Pity "central" on that proposed telephone tele-phone from Scotland to Paris. A coffee and sinker breakfast often follows a supper on lobster a la New-burg. New-burg. Better make a note in your diary about four years ahead that grape crops are finest in comet years. King Menelik, rested by his recent decease, is taking hold of his public duties with renewed zest and vigor. A Chicago man has asked a divorce because his wife drank two cases of beer a day. What she wants is a pipe line. my It is still pretty hard to get any- thing, less than the kidnaping of a millionaire's child into the daily press. St. Louis man swears that his subconscious sub-conscious self was in control when he got married. Sounds much like the majority of cases. A. Russian prince is named as corespondent co-respondent in the divorce suit of a turpentine king. "Heavy lies the head tbat wears a crown." In Kansas men will not go to the farms while the moving picture shows are in operation with a daily change of programme. The movement to teach girls how to cook pie has been greeted with great pleasure . by the many men who have heretofore dreaded marriage. A New York cafe that arbitrarily required its patrons to wear evening dress has been closed, thus striking another blow- for freedom of action. You can step on the grass in New York now. But somehow there are other things we'd rather do while pay-ing pay-ing hotel bills at the rate of $8 a min-ute. min-ute. A Sing Sing prisoner complains that he was given an ammonia bath. Probably some improvement installed since they started calling the place Ossining. A Chicago doctor says that a man is as Old as his blood vessels. The men in St. Paul also usually are about . the same age as their bones, nerves and other paraphernalia. Professor Lowell, now in England, tells Britons that the inhabitants of Mars are Intelligent organisms, but not at all like men. But he did not mean this as a slur on human beings. Friends oi the art league m Chicago Chi-cago are urging the park board to abandon the word "boulevard" and to call the highways connecting the park systems "drives," or "roads," or "parkways." "park-ways." The people of Chicago are rapidly becoming purists. It will be remembered that Eugene Field prophesied prophe-sied that if Chicago ever got inter-- inter-- ested in culture, Chicago would make culture hum. The ballooning fatalities in Germany Ger-many should . serve as a warning to amateur aeronauts everywhere, at the opening of the season for aerial flights. The ascension with the Poni-mern, Poni-mern, which ended in the Baltic sea. was undertaken when a high wind prevailed, pre-vailed, and when professional aeronauts aero-nauts would have considered It rash to start. The second fatality revealed the dangers of descent when strong winds are blowing. The young Lochinvar of the tweri-' tweri-' tieth century has to be up-to-date, or else no wedding bells for him. There may be "racing and chasing on Canon hie Lee," or wherever he makes his getaway wilh a willing and adoring sweetheart, but it will net be after the charger which has stood conveniently near. The elopers hustle off in au automobile, and the pursuers follow in the fastest motor cars that can be requisitioned.- And then the hunt is not always successful. A youthful pair ran away in that fashion at San Diego, Cal., and so far as heard from have not been captured. The rage for changing names sometimes some-times runs up against a. snag. Someone Some-one succeeded in rechrlstening Tot-tenville. Tot-tenville. down on Staten Island, and substituting the title of Pentley Manor. Now the descendants of the Huguenots who settled in that quarter have risen in protest and want the old name back. So do the Daughters of the American Revolution, whose patriotic pa-triotic spirit naturally revolts at the fact, as alleged, that the new name is that of a man who was a Tory in the Revolution. Sometimes the adoption of a i;ew ii:iiui' for a trwn is marked by more haste than discretion. A clubwoman wants college girls protee'.fcd. She fears they think too deeply. Well, If they didn't think deeply at times how should we know the correct way to make fudge? If you have a bad memory, says on-of on-of the "good thing" pages, safeguard It by jotting down in a notebook a little memorandum of the promises you make, just as a small reminder tlm.! Very good. Believe, at the same time, somebody could make quite a bit of money by marketing a handy (org'Htor |