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Show PASSING CHIMES. By James Barton Adams. A socialist says that when society is- properly organized a man will have to work but eleven minutes a day. Even then some men would demand de-mand the Satui . half holiday of Ave arid a half minutes. Forty-eight different kinds of houseflies have been classed by naturalists, but there is no perceptible per-ceptible difference in the tickling qualities of their feet when they are using the bald head for a parade ground. A Pittsburgh jury is to pass upon the ownership of a pair of garters. From all wo have read a jury of Pittsburghers will be fully competent to handle a proposition of that nature. I It is suggested that Washington be made a great, jobbing center. Almost as ridiculous as to suggest that Milwaukee be made a great beer center. I If the Thaw case and The Jungle should be dramatized, as threatened, the many prize fighters, bridge jumpers-, etc., who have been so heroically endeavoring to elevate the stage may give up the job in despair. If Russell Sage could hear all that the newspapers news-papers are saying about him he would no doubt be very glad that he got out of a world in which he was so little appreciated. John D. Rockefeller complains that the people exaggerate and misrepresent when they call him a billionaire. There is no misrepresentaion, how ever, in other things they have fallen Into the habit of calling him. Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Longworth have been invited to a Turkey dinner in Sultan Ab Hamid's palace at Constantinople. A New York health expert has figured it out that the high death rate among the poor in Gotham Go-tham Is owing to the fact that they eat too much. At first glance it is difficult to determine whether this should be classed as humor or sarcasm. The artist who is painting Theodore Roosevelt Roose-velt "In repose" must have hypnotized him to get him In condition for a sitting. A Chicago mllllonarie is trying to break into the penitentiary. A number of other millionaires are trying to keep out of it. Tastes differ. "When a new family moves into a neighborhood it is a great disappointment to the neighbor women wo-men to discover that it sends its washing to. a laundry. A correspondent says Mrs. Leslie Carter-Payne's hair is not red. Of course not. She is a great artist and it is golden. An Ohio ofllclal who issued the warrant for Rockefeller was compelled to ask several persons per-sons before learning how to correctly spell the name. A western magistrate would have made it "John Dough," and let it go at that. It is reported that the new cruiser Milwaukee made h'er trial trip "in a frothy sea." How beautifully' beau-tifully' appropriate! And she no doubt saluted every schooner she met. |