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Show THE PROMOTER. By Sam. C. Dunham. 'Twas 'way back in the early days a year ago last fall-When fall-When the leases were perducing big an' Tonopah was small; When Butler used to stake the boys to do most anything, An' never took no notes but said, "Jest pay me in the spring!" Before Zeb Kendall made his pile, and full o' local pride, Put up his costly Palace an' a sleepin' place supplied . Before Frank Golden built a block, with confidence confi-dence as great, That's a marvel to all strangers an' a honor to the State. if (Sence then we've had permoters here from almost al-most every State, From the breezy banks o' Fundy to the foggy Golden Gate From Montana down to Texas, an' from there to -Puget Sound An' there's always 'bout a hundred o' these gents a-loafin' 'round. They've reduced our common fractions an' consolidated con-solidated claims, An' they've christened all our prospects with their double-jointed names 'Till it looks as though the nation hasn't any more to lend An' extended our extensions 'till there's nuthin' to extend.) One night a mine permoter from the mercernary East, With his cheek all smoothly shaven like a Phila-delphy Phila-delphy priest, Got into camp from Sody on a overloaded stage, With his eyes inflamed an' rimy an' a-smellin' strong o' sage; An' they dumped him down at Stimler's, where he stomped aroun' an' cussed 'Bout the bloomin' arid desert, while a-shakin' off the dust; Then he turned an' tackled Stimler, sayin' loudly, "I persume That you got my application for a two-compartment room!" Stimler pondered for a minute, then he sort o' smiled an' said: "You'll be mighty lucky, stranger, if you git a single bed! I jest filed yer application, but I ain't got nary sweet, An' the market ain't supplyin' us with very much to eat; But we've got a lot o' lipuids that's as good as you can find Pervided you're a-climated to. our pertic-lar kind; An' if you're feelin' frisky an' a hankerin'to bet, We can furnish you with faro an' amuse you with roulette !" Then a lot of Mizpah leasers which was lingerin' aroun' They allured the thirsty stranger for to go an' see the town, An' they took him down to Brougher's, an' they showed him every sight An' pursood the local customs which controls the camp at night, An' when they got him sleepy an' suffishently confused, They took him to a tunnel which was very seldom sel-dom used, An' they made the cuss a mattress out o' thousand dollar ore, An' they covered him with empty sacks an' left him there to snore. t Next afternoon this expert, when he got himself released, Perpared a tecknicle report an' sent the same back east. I! s , He said: "A chap named Butler was a-monkeyin' An' stumbled 'gainst a chunk o' ore protrudin' ' t from the groun', An' jest because it assayed high an' looked un- I f common fine, ' He kind o' lost his head an' thought he'd found V ; a paying mine." f ; j An' then he closed his first reeport: "They'll I work her out by spring J I spent a whole night underground an' couldn't see a thing!" Next day this here permoter was interrogatin' 't 'I With' a sort o' sneakin' notion that he'd git the 1 best o' him. . f They was settin' down to Kendall's with a jug o' 1 ; Holland gin, J ; j Which the same they was imbibin' out o' glasses j V) made o' tin, t i f When this expert sprung the question, with a J, : (! wise look all aroun', 1 1 "Are you cert'n, Mister Butler, that yer bloomin' a1 1 1 I ledge goes down?" l ! ' Old Jim he thought a second, while a-gazin' in I -! ' Then he answered sort o' sudden, "Well, by God ! jj ! j ; she don't go up !" I That night he made his last report this expert I of renown, j 1 : i "I find the Mizpah don't go up an' therefore turn I J j Last month the news it got back east it was too j Hi That every mine in Tonopah is rich an' wide an' I , j j jfj When this permoter heard the news, he went an' m An' tossed an' groaned there for a week, an' then they found him dead, j I An' the Cororner's certificut is was concize an' ; J I "The late lamented wasn't sick he simply died 1 o' grief!" Exchange. |