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Show THIS TIME THE JOKE WAS ON THE HU-MORIST. HU-MORIST. Here are two good stories which Thomas Fitch, an old friend of Mark Twain, who was his fellow citizen of Virginia City in the early sixties, six-ties, tells of the humorist: "One Christmas eve all of us, except Mark, were seated in the smoking room awaiting the announcement of dinner, when there arrived a lad with a package for Mr. Clemens, which he was directed to take to the smoking room. After his departure we examined the bundle, for we were communists in spirit, and found that it contained con-tained a pretty knitted woolen scarf and a card bearing the inscription, 'Mr. Samul L. Clemens, from his friend Etta.' " 'I can improve upon that message,' suggested suggest-ed Daggett, who was the wag and philosophical disputant and cribbage player of the club, and, obtaining a sheet of note paper, he wrote in a fine female hand the following note: "'Mr. Clemens: The .accompanying scarf having been prepared as a Chrirlmas gift for you, it has been determined not to livert it from its original destination, although a knowledge of your late conduct having come to the ears of the writer, your own conscience will tell you that this must close all communication between us, in which decision my father and' mother concur. Your former friend, ETTA.' "The scarf was rewrapped, ind with this note tied to it was placed in Sam's room. Shortly afterward aft-erward he made his appearance and proceeded to his room to prepare for dinnei Soon we heard the crockery going. " 'What is the matter, Sam?' said Daggett. "Thereupon entered Mark Twain, with coat and collar off, and throwing the package upon the table, he burst forth: " 'Read that,' said he, flourishing the note from Etta: 'read that. That's just my infernal luck. You hounds can run the town night after night and nobpdy.ever says a word, but I am found I u Bj out at once.' h PXW "Mark came over to our house at "Washoe ' l H City, and for a week was our guest. He insisted i H upon having a Maltest cat, Jim, for a bedfellow, ) ,j H and Jim, not being accustomed to tobacco smoke, i VXV emerged every morning looking like the remains 1 " H of an ill-spent life. y H ,"It was here that Mark flre delivered in Ne- , flfl vada his lecture on the Sandwich Islands. He f, B was exceedingly nervous about it, and, though it 1 H was received by the audience with laughter and f H applause, he was undoubtedly not quite satisfied H with the result. u H " 'Now, tell me honestly,' said he, 'for I want ' , H criticism and not praise, what do you think of it?' j H " 'Sam,' said I, 'as a humorous writer you have H no equal, and you will speedily take rank, both H here and in the Atlantic States, as the first in the , PXfJ land.' v aaa "'But, as a lecturer,' he said, 'now tell me ' !, PH the truth, honestly as a lecturer, I am a fraud, i, jp kfl am I not?' I J H " 'You are,' I answered. L H " 'I suspected as much,' said he, gloomily, 'but rj H I'll tell you what it is; there Lre over five hun- i " H dred towns in the United States of more than j H five thousand inhabitants, and 1 can play them all j H once.' " jP H |