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Show Hflflfli I Little Problems I I oarried Life Hflflfli HHJ WILLIAM QKORQE JORDAN J Hflflflfl flflflfl B- B HHH (Oupjrlghl) H WHEN THE FAMILY INTERFERES. HHH Mnny n Rood matrimonial ship, with HHH Its suilllt cargo of happiness nnd hope, HHfl lins hooa vi'ocl(cd on the rocks or fnm- HHH lly Interference. If It woro customary HHH to erect tcmibstoncs to tho memory HHH of dond lovos thu cnuso of tho death HHH of nmrltiit happiness In thousands of HHH hoiiiod might ho given In the chiselled HHH epitaph: "Died From mi Overdose of HHH tho Interference of Ilohitlvcsl" HHH If there bo one plnco In tho world HHH whero tlio Justice of "lionio rule" HHfl should ho unquestioned, tlutt plnco la HHfl tho home. Marriage miiUes thu con- HHfl pie n now llrm, nn Independent pnrtner- HHHfl fillip, not a branch house under tho HHH management of u pnrent compnny. HH It wns Interference nml bud ndvtca HHH that spoiled the llrst marriage, Blurted HHH tho first quarrel, nnd broke up tlie first HHH homo In tho world In those curly days, HHfl long, long ago when Eden wns tho only HHfl apot on enrth thut hnd even n mime. HHH This wns tho first lesson to ninn nnd HHH now nfter sixty centuries some people HHH Imve not lenrned It yet. Husband nnd HHH wife must work out their own problems HHH In their wuy. H The problems of two must bo solved HHfl by two. They need only kindness, HHfl sympathy, n rescrvo of help In omor- HHfl gcnclcs nnd n free open Held nil the HHfl time. There Is no Justification for gos- HH .alp, criticism, complaint, condemnation HHH nnd Incendiary meddling by members HHH Mf tho fnmlly. These things should bo HHh put on the list of unnecessary luxuries HHHf In tho homo nnd gently, llrmly, dollnlte- HHHJ ly HHfl Wo may sometimes bo privileged to HHH help others to llvu their lives; It Is ar- HHH lognnt nssumptlun for us to attempt to HHI llvo their lives for them. Wo nro told HHH thnt we should not bury our talents, HHH but thcro Is ono talent that of ppe HHH flat nptness for Impertinent manage- HHI incut of tho affairs of others that wo HHI nhould carefully wrap In n nnpkln nnd HHI on some dark night, quietly bury for-HHfl for-HHfl HHHj It Is In tho first years of married HHI life thut foreign Interference, Is most HHH 2 trying and dangerous and It Is this very HHI time when It Is most conspicuous nnd HHY dominant. No need for tho fnmlly to HHJ remind tho wife that tho husband Is HHI not eighteen learnt, that ho will never Hl iniilio n fortune, that they fear greatly HHH nnd then let their fear expand Into n HHJ long cntnloguo of detail that fades away Into tho dim perspective of thu HHtr unspoken. A'fter tho goods nro bought HHft nnd sent homo nnd ennnot bo returned, HHV what Is tho uso of discouraging tho HHJ H Tho wlfo mny think sho has tho fin- HHH est llttlo homo In tho world; every HBHJ thing seems beautiful to her nnd sho HHJ has even prldo In the nrrny of cooking HHJ utensils, dazzling and new In nluinlnum HHJ nnd tin, nnd thu dishes ranged care- HHJ fully.oii tho pantry shelves. Sho often HHI Hands nt tho door and smiles ns sho HHI looks In to get the general effect nt HHI n glance. When tho family makes n HHJ tour of Inspection, her Indiscreet His- HHI tcr may say, "Oh, what a mlto of n HHI Kitchen. You can only wash tho small HHJ dlulica llko cups and saucers In a llttlo HHH box llko this." It hud never seemed HHJ small to her, none of tho rooms seemed HHJ Hiuall; they held so much lovo and HHJ hope, mid happiness that tho slzo did HHH not count; but now her heart sinks, HHH nnd tho Joy note seems go no nnd n HHHJ cloud comes over It all nnd sho begins HHJ to compare her homo with that of some HHI friend nnd It suffers. Sho thinks of HHJ nil tho other deficiencies pointed out HHJ by tho visiting Inspectors. Sho tries HHl to bo bravo so sho will bo sinlllng HHJ when ho comes homo but It Is hard to HHJ keep back tho tears. HHl When her husband's, sister tells her HHJ In conlldenco, "Just to put you on'your HH o guard so you will know how to hnndlo him," what a temper ho has, It comes 1 to her as n surprise nnd n, grief, for It ( does not seem possible ho could over B speak n cross word. When sho henr.i, still In eonfiik'nCe, nbout tho "girl ho wna so mucli in lovo with two years ago and wns going to marry," sho feels twinges of vaguo Jealousy and sho wants to bo uloue. Ho too may buffer from tho early stnges of family Intcrfcrenco If his nflither begins her maternal vlvlsec-tf vlvlsec-tf an of his wife. Shu doubts If sho . ulll prove n good housekeeper, but "of course. wo have to hope for tho best." Soon tho fnmlly may begin a cam-pnlgn cam-pnlgn of education on how sho should uinuagn him. tiho hears with Irritation II tho words: "l'ou surely won't let him I unolto In thoparlorl Vou know you I run never get'tho odor out of tho cur-I cur-I tains nnd that cnrtrldgo paper drinks I In smoku llko blotting paper nbsorhs I Ink." If sho weakly assents they In-I In-I . rrenso tho dose; If sho rebels they I j think sho Is overconfident and setting I I her right becomes inoro than a pleas-I pleas-I lire It Is n duty. "Never permit him I to be live minutes Into at dinner. Just I ' nnsert your Independence" Is the next I shot from this pende-congress In the I Interests of domestic war. I . Tin husband may return homo In tho I evening nnd find tho wife nervous, Ir-I Ir-I i rltuhlo, brimful of suggested new ur-I ur-I judgements In thQ homo and repairs I that ho might mnko In his manners nnd disposition. Sho docs not tell him who has been thero all afternoon but ho I :nnws It ns absolutely from tho traces left In her conversation, us tho hunter reads tho. passing of n bear from tracks V Ull) HUOW. i N She may Inter tell him cf n chnng to he made In ono of tho rooms nnd sho unwisely names the member of her fnmlly who nmdo tho motion ; or ho to sustain n position may repeat somo criticism his mother mntle. They nro planting seeds of discord In each other's oth-er's minds, unconsciously stimulating prejudice nnd opposition nnd Intensify lug fnmlly Interference. As tho .days, go on critical appropriation appro-priation from tho family committee nn Interference may grow hinder nnd harder, to hear. It Is depressing to llvo under tho mlcrocopo of criticism, HUo nn Impaled Inseor. There Is often on demnntlon where, If tho frill facta woro known, thero would hfi only praise. Thero la altogether toy much Judging In the world, too miicii Idlo lntruslvo censorship of the nets of others. It It uncomfortiiblo to hear constantly thai "you ought to do this" tr "you should certainly do that." It Is so easy to solvo tho eonundrutrtf of another's life. Tho reason thnt ridvlec is usually ot llttlo value la that It Is not based on u perfect knowledge of tho Infinity of detail thnt mako.1 up a condition. Perfect Per-fect ndvlco should fit tho situation as n glnvo fits tho hand; most ndvlco docs not get much nearer than n box-,lng box-,lng glovo in tho matter of fitting. Thnt tho fnmlly intcrfcrenco mny nrlso from gcuulno interest does not excuso it nor even explain It; whero love Is greatest It should bo most tender ten-der nnd most considerate. Thcro nro times when somo tiny finmo of misunderstanding misun-derstanding nrlscs between husbnnd nnd wlfo thnt n bninth of kindly Interpretation In-terpretation inlghr blow 'Into nothingness, nothing-ness, but, talked over by tho family and canvassed nud debated nnd Intensified, In-tensified, grows Into a conflagration, Under tho gossip, often unthinking of Its evil Influence, n tiny molehill of iliniculty may become nn almost Impassable Impas-sable Itocky Mountain range. Oil Is u good thing to yvjUr on troubled wn-ters wn-ters but It Is poor to put out n fire. A difficulty that originally concerned only n duet now bns been mndo to affect af-fect tho whole fnmlly choir. It Is easier eas-ier for two peoplo to reacli loving harmony har-mony than to dlstrlbuto it among a dozen. Sometimes tho Intcrfcrenco of families fam-ilies becomes even moro active nnd aggressive than this, and because of a fancied grlovnuco oi'j-ftonulno opposition oppo-sition it actually cofcjpfr between husband hus-band nnd wlfo nnd by harsh criticism or condemnation seeks to Inclto strife nnd discord between them. Hero In-stnnt In-stnnt loyalty of tho ono to tho other should assert Itself and refuse to listen to tho voice. In an Instinctive spirit of profvtlou thcro should ho a calm, dignified protest ngalint tho recital of what If unessential should lover be spoken, nnd If of serious Import should bo heard only In tho presenco of tho ono thus charged with what ho or sho should have tho opportunity of denying or disproving Instantly, before be-fore tho weeds of suspicion hnvo tlnio to root themselves In tho heart of tho other. In ninny homes, thcro Is somo ono In tho family, on cither side, whoso, visits bring n trnll of sadness, sorrow, protest, bitter opposition, on unncces-Miry unncces-Miry and unwnrrautublo intrusion of n discordant element tending to worry, Irrllnto nud perhaps even to bring Into Inhnhnony husband nnd wlfo. In this delicate situation It often seems n problem prob-lem how best to net. Tho health nnd happiness of tho homo must bo considered consid-ered ns of first nnd greatest Importance. Impor-tance. If It bo but n trivial Inconvenience Inconven-ience or Jnr to tho domestic serenity, tho wisdom of tolornnco for u tlmo should bo manifested. If It bo of moro serious menace, Impossible Im-possible to master by patient bearing, tho prlvllego of Itospltallty should not bo strained beyond tho bearing point. Thero la n moment when sacrltlco cciircs to bo n virtue nnd degenerates Into cowardice, vice. Thcro may bo nn Injustice to oneself nnd to ono near nnd dear that this unwelcome guest-hood guest-hood outrages. It la not true hospitality hospital-ity to mask tho heart's continued protest pro-test under n smile, to submit unnecessarily unneces-sarily to an atmosphero that saps.ono'a mental nud moral vitality, that dulls energy, deadens oho's finer sensibility, nnd kills tho Joy of life, leaving ono worried, wenk, worn nnd weary, unnblo to meet na ono should tho questions of cvery-day living. If wo constantly suffer Injiistlco Hint wo can remove, wu uro slaves to tho Individuality of another nnd cownrda to our own. Tho rankling Irritation of tho unjust bearing, If continued, will permeate our whole nature, llko nn emotional poison. Wo should therefore net calmly, wisely, with kindness and dlprdty, and frankly rccognlzo conditions condi-tions and with perfect fairness toko tho gentlest actlou that will remedy them. Hotter a short, declslvo battlo fought to ii finish thun u constant sort so-rt cs of nctty souabblca nnd skirmishes. Wo ennnot ho Just to others If wo nro unjust to ourselves. If ono Uvea over under tho scepter of tho decision of others, It Is not free life It la slavery. One cannot keep emotion ennstnutly corked up; somo tlmo that cork will eomo out perhaps Inopportunely, True love, truo companionship, true living, can reign In tho homo only us thcreMs in the homo nn atmosphero ot liberty, of Individual freedom In Its highest sense. If thero bo Interference from out-sldo out-sldo forces, whether, lliey ho from tho family or others, that tends to blight tho Joy, rest, penco and calm of tho home, thnt threatens to bring In even the thin edge of tho wedgo of discord hotwocn husband nnd wife thnt Interference Inter-ference should bo silenced forovcr. Tho homo should bo a sanctuary ot refuge, "hot u battlo ground of discord; It should bo a plnco whero tho angel of lovo over swings tho Conner ot rwui.. jmi mlm nnd linnnlneM. |