Garland Globe | 1906-12-22 | Page 7 | The Size of America

f The Sire of America. Colonel Abraham Grubo'r Is tjo master mas-ter of moro Irish' Jokes" than' any other man In Cyrus, Minn. "Micky Flnnlgnti, who had been an American citizen for about n year und had traveled about this continent considerably, roturnod home to HI-bornla HI-bornla for a visit. This Is tho way ho described lit b now country to one of his rplativcs: "Phwy, Amcr-r-Ica is so big, bo-gorra, bo-gorra, that if you were to dr-ug England En-gland thr-u three states you would'n Ilave a mar-k In the dlr-rt, an' you could loso Olrlaud In ono o' thlnt gr-reat Inland oceans wo have, phwat we call lakes. An' If you had Scotland Scot-land to get rid of, thero are a thousand thou-sand corners you could hldo her In, an' nobody could tell where you had put hor except, begorra, for tho bad wmell o' tho whisky."