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Show PAGE 15 THE ZEPHYR DECEMBER 1995 It was several days into this government shut down or what ever this is before I had a clue anything was going on, so I don't suppose that political analysis is one of my stronger talents. Never the less, of the recent elections just held in our humble hamlet I would like everyone involved to carry this message till the end of all time, 'SHAME, SHAME, SHAME, AND MORE SHAME" If it weren't for the fact that I was still being served at the bar, I would have thought I was in high school. The ads these people ran and their avoidance of the issues was mind boggling. (You'll have to excuse me but, the words I am covering over have been deemed cruel and unfit for a classy rag such as this by "Chuckles" our ever so correct Editor.) Well, that's the great thing about this town, there's no shortage of people to pick on. Funny, what sticks in one's mind, I remember Mayor Tom expounding on the fact that the sewer system wasn't going to cut it, when I first got here. That was back in 1992. Now I hear there are a bunch of new hotels that are getting together and going to build their own treatment plant. Which probably means some group of idiots figured they would halt the growth by creating a "shit fit". Well, like so many other situations "the miracle of Moab" leaves us on the outside, looking in. I think the major problem with our leaders is they think they're going to saw something. I hear them bickering over a tree or an old something or other, for what, to shade the next neon sign from the next fast food dump. The town is fried, cooked, gone, the quaint ain't, get off it, make it work. And more than anything, this town needs a leader, someone to take charge and cut through the crap. As my life passes before me, I think a guy like Tag would be perfect for the job. We need a guy that knows that a simple false mow can send you into a downward spiral into a darkness that rewals even that which you love is not always true. We need someone who will experience the emotion, then clear the path in search of new direction. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Tag or a Tag-lik- e person, please contact someone. Personally, I wouldn't mind hearing from Laurie! Recently 1 conducted a brief internal study of me and my town. Just a little check up to get a feel of how everybody's doing. Quite sadly and much to my surprise, the quality of life is on the decline at an amazing pace. As near as I can tell, any of the inconwniences that were part of living here, still exist or st with many new and exciting inconveniences. You still can't buy a pair of tennis shoes in town and even if there was a place that sold them you wouldn't be able to find a place to park. I make mention of this so everyone is aware that they should stop whatever they're doing, pack up and leave because the town's going to hell in a bucket. It's more like there's a bucket with a sign that says, "TO HELL" on it that's being loaded with something that resembles our town. And if you happen to be passing that area you could yell something like, "Hey, put down that town!" I'm sure there is other important stuff for me to say but, that'll have to wait till next time my little buckeroos. Yes, old Uncle Mike has to go into town and take care of a few chores and then come back home and pull the covers over his head and hope nobody finds me. Or as we like to call it around here, "Assume The Winter Position!" Tootles! thing-a-ma-b- ob YOU KNOW THAT LIST THAT SANTA CHECKS TWICE? THAT LIST WAS PRINTED RIGHT HERE AT THE PRINTING PLACE. co-exi- No one hires a madman wielding a butcher knife to guard their prize pig and yet the federal government spends roughly $36 million a year on a program which, like the madman, has the overwhelming, indiscriminate desire to kill. Biological ramifications of the Animal Damage Control the near extinction of the (ADC) program are severe and the wolf, grizzly and other "nuisance species are testimony to this fact. Wildlife Damage Review is protecting native wildlife and ecosystems by working to dismantle this program. For more information: long-lastin- g: out-of-contr- ol WildlifeDamageReyiewJPOB85218JucsonAZ85754J520;884;0883 IDO IT ALL (EXCEPT FINGERS MARIE LARKIN... Vidal Sassoon-traine- d StylistColorist i isn't it time for a... HOLIDAY 50. NORTH 100 WEST (approx.) Saturday: 10AM-3P- Tues-Fr- i: M L 259-690- 2 10AM-6P- M HAIR-DO- ? AND TOES .) |