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Show PAGE 11 THE ZEPHYR APRIL 1992 MOAB COMMUNITY CO-O- P PRESENTS change subjectCherietoGilmore BATIKS BY by ANNE URBANEK There are a variety of aspects of life here in Moab which make it unique. For example, it is difficult to really know whether you're seeing a political meeting or a family reunion in many instances. There is no Spaghetti Factory here. There is no hope of being considered a local until you are approved by a special task force put together by the County Commission. But possibly the aspect of life here is the huge leap in the number of friends you suddenly acquire. Let me elaborate. It begins innocently enough. It is a warm, one might even say balmy, truly perfect evening in March. You have just returned from the Comer of Market with a pounder bag of M&M's, a oh, anything, and assorted Humphrey Bogart and Cary Grant movies, which you had to hit four video shops to find. You are exceedingly happy because this is Your Night Alone. You have worked out the last intricate detail. You have told everyone you know about this highly contagious form of swine flu you have contracted, and if you have a family they have figured out a way to be gone for the night because they know you are right on the edge and one wrong move could change their lives forever. In your happy anticipation, you are somewhat less observant than usual and are halfway up the driveway before you see him on your porch-t- he house guest from hell. You freeze. You try to unobtrusively back out But it's too late, you have been spotted. You hide the M&M's (somewhere in the back of your mind is the deluded thought that this night can still be saved) and get out of the car to greet the happy little face bobbing towards you. The usual pleasantries are exchanged. "Hey, Cherie, how's it goin?" "Fine. Where are you on your way to?" Well of course he's not on his way anywhere. He has come to Moab, to your home specifically, as a destination point He's a little foggy on his actual plans but you know what they are. He has come to destroy your friend. perfect evening. I should clarify at this point that this is no long-lo- st He didn't even send a Christmas card. However, being the spineless creature that you are, you let him in. Through a long and tedious dinner (which you cooked while he watched the first half of Casablanca), you listen as he extols his company's orchestrated. wildly successful marketing campaign, which he It is apparently making the company obscene amounts of money. You are thinking, "Shouldn't there be a bonus in here somewhere that would allow you to stay at a motel? We have all kinds of new ones this year." But you don't speak these uncharitable thoughts. Why? I don't know. The night wears on, your eyes glaze over. Casablanca has been irretrievably ruined for you. Morning arrives a typically beautiful Spring morning in Moab. You can't help feeling festive. You wander into the bathroom, humming something by Bobby McFerrin. The lilacs by the window are heavy with morning dew. A golden beam of light reflects off a tiny droplet, illuminating your razor, the One made just for you and your legs, which he has used to shave the disgusting stubble off his disgusting face. You make your way to the kitchen, and are not even surprised to see that he has ferreted out your cache of croissants, the last of which he is currently dipping into your amaretto coffee. Finally he's off (Arches to see, fins to conquer!) You hope your neighbors are still asleep as he emerges from your house in his cute little Lycra thing. As his car disappears around the bend, you realize the siege is over and you survived. Later in the day, you are even able to look back on it and chuckle softly. You are sitting in die back yard watching the sun slip quietly out of sight behind the rocks, enjoying your M&M's, which you just i remembered and retrieved from their hiding place, when the doorbell rings. It's probably the neighbor, returning the drill he borrowed. You open the door and are assailed by the overwhelming presence of Lycra. "Hey, I couldn't leaving without meeting your baby." "He's asleep." "Oh. Well then I guess I'll see him in the morning. M&M's? Wow, great!" most-interes- out-of-to- ting wn - six-pa- ck APRIL 3 - APRIL 30 RECEPTION APRIL 3, 7PM 111 N. 100 WEST -- 9PM Open: 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Monday thru Saturday 655 SOUTH MAIN MOAB single-handed- ly 259-643- 5 Locally owned and operated SERVING ALL OF SOUTHEAST UTAH FROM - RIGHT NEXT TO CITY MARKET IF THE APRIL ZEPHYR MAKES IT OUT BY THE FIRST, YOU'LL SEE THIS IN TIME TO BE REMINDED TO REGISTER FOR SPRING QUARTER CLASSES. " . ft -- - . : IF, HOWEVER, THE PRINT MEDIA ARE SUBJECT TO THE ABERRANT "HUMAN CONDITION, WE'LL HOPE YOU'RE ALREADY ATTENDING THE CLASSES OF YOUR CHOICE. , t . ' COMPLAINTS? QUESTIONS? REQUESTS? OR (MOST WELCOME) COMPLIMENTS? j |