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Show Damaged pagers, Ann Landers 0 4 siondson, Ph D jCi it Professor, jnTsion Family and vman Development Specialist, Utah State University writers and philosophers have written about love for fe Greeks suggested that real love came from the soul and involved an intellectual meeting of the minds while the Romans concentrated on the physical and sensual aspects of love. I recently carried out a research project that looked at both aspects of love among American young people. The investigation asked 822 high school and college couples who were dating or engaged to complete an attitude survey. A computer analysis of their responses revealed that both types of love exist. One dimension of love was identified which we labeled concern for growth. This includes a belief that the loved one will help develop my personality, will help me achieve my highest potential and, in general, will make me a better person. The second type of love was called physical affection and dealt with the frequency and satisfaction with each other's demonstration of affection. Each type also included strong feelings of love and tenderness toward the partner. In addition to identifying these two types of love, I was also interested in seeing if males or females were different in their types of love or if dating couples were more likely to choose one type of love while engaged couples chose another type. I found the scores on the concern for growth-typ- e of love were higher than the physical affection scores for all groups. Both types of love were stronger for the engaged couples than dating couples. Perhaps the most interesting finding of all is that no sex differences were found both male and females had similar scores on each type of love. These findings are similar to those of other researchers. For example, Zick Rubin, Charles Hill and Letitia Peplau studied the romance of college students. They found that many of the stereotypes we hold about men and women in love are false. They found that men entered relationships to fall in love more often than women, that women were more likely to break up the relationship and that men were hit harder by the breakup than were women. Our society appears to carry many stereotypes about men and women in love. Researchers findings are in direct opposition to the stereotypes. j The Salt Lake Tribune, Sunday, May VI 5, 1985 2 bathrooms may be the answer Dear Ann Landers: 1 know this is a silly problem compared to most you get, but to me it is significant After being a bachelor for nine years 1 was recently married. We both knew adjustments would have to be made, and we settled some of the problems in ad- vance. But one small item was not discussed and it is more creating Ann Landers trouble than I drea ?d possible It's the toilet seat. Old habits are hard to break I am simply not accustomed to flopping the lid down before I leave the bathroom. We started with gentle remind Shop weekdays more trouble that I can cope with Up, Up, Up In Grand right now Rapids Dear Up: An inherent risk of writing to Ann Landers is that she might use your letter especially if the problem is one a great many people can relate to Yours is 1 only hope you are not so exhausted from fighting gravity that you cannot pick up the paper to read my reply I believe it is fair to say that any object that is shared should be left in its normal state In the case of the commode (thats a fancy name for toilet, buster) the normal state of the seat is DOWN The wife of a male should not need to look where she is sitting She knows he is a gentleman and will return the lid to its proper position. The only solution I can suggest, if ers and then tried taping notes to the wall From there we went to kidding that led to insults Last week we escalated from snarling to yelling and screaming I have decided it is easier to rebel than to change. I refuse to apologize for my habit ever again When I enter the bathroom I have enough sense (and decency) to lift the seat Does it require of my wife more energy to flop it down than it does for me to flip it up9 No' Less, m fact, because I am fighting gravity. I say if a woman doesn't have enough sense to look where she is about to sit, she deserves the consequences In my opinion, courtesy is something that is extended It should not be demanded Will you settle this. good-nature- d Ann And if you arent d on my side, please skip the whole thing I have 10 9 Saturday you insist on behaving like a stubborn mule, is an apartment with two bathrooms You can then leave the seat up in yours, and she can keep the seat dow'n in hers Dear Ann Landers: Our next-doo- r neighbors still have their Christmas decorations up They light up the reindeers and the whole bit every night We are embarrassed when guests come to visit us. What can we No Laughing Matter do about it? Dear N.L.M: Legally, nothing. They are breaking no law. Try offering to help. It might work. Can drugs be a triend in time of stress? Londers, P O. Box 11995, Chicogo, III. Closed Sunday 10-- 6 A silver suggestion... FOR MOTHER'S MAY OUR STERLING SILVER BOOKMARK 12. DAY, SUNDAY, Reg. 17.50 This Grand Baroque ster- ling silver bookmark from Wallace Silversmiths is yet another chapter in your unending love for Mom on her in our Silver day. Specially-priceRoom (753 13.95 d Fast way to big, beautiful eyes Try a eye color pencil double-ende- d with a shadow tip on one end to color and highlight, and a liner tip on the other to line and define. These color coordinated pencils, which come in a wide range of fabulous colors, give you everything you MR SAME ( PAY need to create a gorgeous, dramatic look, or even a muted, soft and pretty one. Whatever your mood, you can in or down dress your eyes up seconds. SHI SATURDAY 'nf SOtD HIS FURNITURE HIS AD RAN ir. THE PAPER MAY M Ccj) KM O 4th 2:30 PM 2:30 PM SUNDAY MAY 5TH WANT-AD- GET YOU RESULTS ANTIQUES & ESTATE See Column 020 This Paper 237- - flOrder by phone: Call toll-fre- 24 hours a day in Salt Lake, e Shop weekdays 10-9- , elsewhere in Utah, 321-666- Saturday 10-- 6. Western U.S., Closed Sunday. 2000 25 Save 'nflctom MOTHER'S DAY on our entire stock of pearl strands 2 FOR 1 BLOUSE SALE v- - ACT' rty vj. Vi BUY ONE BLOUSE AT FULL PRICE GET THE SECOND FREE! (FROM SELECTED RED TAG ITEMS) COTTONWOOD SQUARE have secure gold clasps that add to their inherent classic charm and beauty. Don't miss out, because this is the gift you've been looking for, just for mom on her special day and it's the gift she'll never forget, on sale through May 1 1 in Fine Jewelry. (Not at Cache Valley) (205) All PIANOS & ORGANS New Console Pianos Some Kimball Models Four Styles. Sale! Used! Outstanding Value Now! New frr i'l'firrr7! uIKIEd 1388 ' 14-k- t. fflET and up ORGANS Gem, Used Player Piano Late Model Nearly New 1 & Kimball Hammond, etc. 888 20 30 hut to off One Bloch South of Slit South w. 2233 South 700 East 486-8- 1 10 19 i am-- 6 pm Mon, thru Sot. 0 Order by phone: Call toll free 24 hours a day in .Salt Iiike, 321-6666- ; elsewhere in Utah, H head together, can they be of The booklet, help? Ann Landers' Lowdown on Dope, separates the foct from orbooklet the fiction. Get it todoy For eoch dered, send $2, plus a long, stamped envelope (37 cents postoge) to Ann yoi. iveep your ............... Heres a faster, simpler and handier way to make big, beautiful eyes. 5 Mi! 77 Western U.S., i 60611. |
