Show t By Timothy Fuller inside presumably to succor his potential client took Helen home Curiously enough I was proud of her “Those big shot executives think they can get away with murder" I told her "But it was my fault" she insisted “I led him on with all those terrible lies about myself He must have thought I was fast and loose” "Honey" I said "lying is an art You have to remember always to have a basis illuttrated by Alajalov prettiest smartest I most wonderful wife in the world! Also the softest" “Mmm" she answered of truth" "That’s nice You know darling I think you’re perfect There isn’t one tiny little thing I’d want to change about you” That's when I should have tumbled to her scheme I mean here was Helen a paragon of honesty calling me faultless Any clearheaded thinker would have known she was handing me the Harry Peten routine She was out to reform me from my lying ways But I muffed it because right then I wasn’t a clearheaded thinker " I got it the next day when we went out to the boss’s country place for Sunday lunch 1 got it with a bang A B Zingler president of Allied Airlines was there for the week end and Daggett had been shooting for this account for months The plan was to have Zingler meet a few of the bright young members of the team also our wives and perhaps all that combined charm and wit would be the clincher For the occasion Helen had chosen a new summer dress in undersea green which with her cropped copper hair was frankly I could see Zingler devastating snap to attention as soon as we stepped out onto the terrace to be introduced This Zingler had been one of those boy generals in the Air Corps during the war and now he was all crewcut gray hair flashing blue eyes and jutting chin He was tanned and lean and at the moment his wife was back in Columbus with the kids "That’s a very lovely gown my dear" he said leaning over Helen's hand “Why thank you General” she said and almost curtsied "It's just a little thing I ran up myself" 1 nearly went flat on my face That little thing had cost me $8995 “Everyone calls me Mike" Zingler purred "May I get you a drink V "Oh Joe will get the drinks” said Helen When got back they were talking golf Helen had played exactly three times in her life and had hated it 1 stood there weakly besides Mrs Daggett and listened in "I once got a hole in one Mike” Helen was saying “It was the craziest thing When my drive dialed up onto the green this little blaciTTnd white puppy ran out from nowhere chasing it and knocked the ball right into the cup!" She chuckled tossed her head and said “Ha!" Everyone laughed but it was lost on me “Wonderful!” said Zingler "I almost believe you" Helen raised her right hand “It’s true So help me!” Mrs Daggett said "I didn't realize you 1 “JOE" HELEN ASKED HER HUSBAND I THAT NIGHT “IK) I HAVE ANY FAULTS?" How about a game played golf Helen next week?” opened and closed my mouth and in that interval Helen slid in behind the wheel "Oh I'd love to” she answered with hardly a pause “but the doctor won’t let me until my knee gets well” My mind was reeling Her legs were as sound as a Derby winner's "How did you hurt your knee dear?” Zingler asked “Skiing” said Helen with a straight face “A great sport” said the flier You could tell he had formed a mental picture of my wife in tight pants zipping down some mountainside "Where do you ski?" “At the lake Some friends of ours have a speedboat and we ski behind it" Zingler swayed a little refocusing his mental picture I caught Helen's eye but she just smiled innocently “The swelling is almost gone now” she said and raised her skirt a couple of inches above her lovely knees “See? You can hardly tell the difference” Well" I there it was I knew the whole atrocious act was for my benefit that she was just giving me a taste of my own onbridled imagination But the trouble is you can't suddenly start lying after a lifetime of sticking to facts It goes to your head and you become drunk with power This is what had happened to Helen and short of dragging her away by the hair there was no way I could think to stop her Of course my boss Mr Daggett was delighted with the way things were going and when we went in to lunch he made sure Helen sat beside Zingler at the table I was relegated to the far end out of earshot where all I could do was watch and worry From the frequent bursts of the laughter 1 knew Helen was keeping right on with her whoppers It came to a head directly after the meal when Zingler taking Helen by the arm announced they were going for a drive He owned one of those sports imports and it seemed Helen had told him it she was wild to road-te1 said to them a minute" “Now just she told you but know what don’t “I both Helen has never driven a car like that” “That’s why I want o try dear” she said sweetly “There’s nothing to it” said Zingler “for a girl who knows how to fly” "I’ll never tell a lie again" she said fervently “Io you think Mr Daggett will ever forgive me?" I told her to let me worry about Daggett and I must say did all through the night I decided if Daggett said a word I would quit My wife’s honor was more important than the job At least that's the way I felt until the next morning when the summons came to appear in Daggett’s office "Joe” he said when I sank into a chair beside his desk “Allied Airlines could be Zingler got in beside her touched a few knobs and there was a roar that drowned out any further conversation from me The car leapt ahead spewing gravel over Daggett's nicely kept lawn and I shut my When I opened them Helen was eyes cornering into the highway They were gone for twenty minutes After ten of them I went inside to a mirror to check on my hair It should have turned snow white but all I could detect was a slight graying at the temples By the time I had decided to alert the police and all the hospitals in the area a high whine in the distance heralded their return The party rushed out to the drive Zingler was now driving but he was also holding a handkerchief to his face and his shirt front was splattered with blood Helen and the car were unscarred “Good Lord Mike” said Daggett “What happened?” Without a word Zingler got out and hurried into the house “Oh Joe” said Helen looking stricken “take me home” “What happened?" Daggett demanded again It was a perfect time for a falsehood Any little old lie would have done but Helen had to pick that moment to switch back to the truth “Well" she said close to tears "we stopped and he made a pass at me and I socked him in the note” “Brother” said Daggett and tottered our biggest account” “Yes I know” I admitted weakly "Do you think you can handle it?" St) that's how it stands And you’d think But listen to this: That night when I got home with the news the living room was a mass of roses I’d be happy "Mike sent them” Helen said uneasily "with a note of apology" “It looks like we’ll be seeing a good deal of old Mike” said and told her about the I account "There’s just one thing we ought to settle Do you think that he’s attrac- tive?" "I suppose some women might think so” she admitted "I don’t care about some women” I said “What about you?” “Oh me” she said “I'm married to the most wonderful man in the whole wide world How could I think for a minute anyone else was attractive?” And then she chuckled tossed her head and said “Ha!" Do you have any idea what it’s like to be married to a person whose word you can doubt? I tell you honestly that it’s murder The End er st '' " HELEN WAVED GAILY AS THE CAR LEAPT AHEAD he went on fixing me with a look "Me?” I stammered "It?” “Zingler wants you on it personally He says any guy who can hold a girl like Helen must have plenty on the ball So it’s in your lap Joe Of course I'll help you out if ’’ you need me and SPEWING GRAVEL " |