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Show OPINION I DAVE BARRY Senate funding changed, not eliminated • The article that rain in Monday's paper about the change in Senate funding for the 1995-96 school year was not only insufficient, but incorrect and misleading. The major reason that the change came about was that students were complaining that certain groups were receiving sums upwards 0£ $4,000 at once for things like annual conferences. This appeared to be a favoristic system, and was not allocating a fair amount to each club that asked for funding. The funding philosophy was inconsistent, so the senate decided to reconsider the entire funding philosophy. The funding philosophy has completely changed, but it is a good change! The criteria now is simple; confer~nces and competitions will no longer be funded. The senate feels that these things should be funded by the departments or by the fundraising efforts of the students involved. Though they are important, we feel it is not the appropriate to fund them out of student fees. Consistently large amounts were being allocated to groups of only 5-12 students. Most students were outraged at this. The individual club funding will actually go up with this elimination because there were clubs last year that did not receive funding because so much had already gone for conferences and competitions. There will be more left to be allocated to a larger group of students. Another important point is that the clubs are still being funded by the senate, we have simply changed where they go for that funding. Instead of the senate's entire time being taken up by individual club funding requests, those requests will go to the Senate ratified C&.O budget committee, to which we allocated a finite, set budget. The senate will now be concentrating its attention on things like policy changes and special projects, which include, but are not limited to security lighting and college weeks, as suggested in the article. Other projects that are being worked on are consolidation of the Cashier's Office so that all fees can be paid in the same place, adviser programs, graduate school fairs, public teacher evaluations, a campus advertising agency, tutorial services, handicap accessibility, class fee inves t igations, 24 hour computer labs, on-line and phone registration, and online class counseling. So, not to toot our own horn, but there is a lot more going on than funding changes this year. These changes are good changes and, after a brief adjustment period, everyone will realize that this new system is going to be a benefit for everyone in the long run. It'll be tough to get used to, but I am confident that it will work well for all involved. Sen. Laquetta Carpenter Thirty years later it's the same old game • In defense of Radio 9 11 I would like to transcend some of my cri t icism the way of the student body of Southern Utah University. College is and always has been about being young and doing things in unique ways. As we learn about the current validity and power of our culture in our classes, we do our part as the new generation to improve, promote, and validate our ideas and arts into the population at large. However, it sees that at this university and many others that young voices are being drowned by an overbearing crunch of rules and regula tions. Thus was th e case last Frida y when the SUU Communication Committee, made up of six SUU professors, decided to change the current cutting edge rock format of Radio 911 to Top 40 current hit radio. I am not partial to either of these radio formats, a.nd, granted, both have their advantages. Radio 911 promotes music that is exciting and new. This is not always accessible to all of the SUU audience. This phenomenon, on the other hand, is not new, For many years, long before we on this campus were old enough to appreciate, there was much that was more cutting edge and abrasive than the bands of today. The music I speak of was evil, destructive, and definitely led to the downfan of America's morals. This music that was once the fruits of the devil's spawn is now called classic rock . Today in 1995, everyone enjoys classic and acknowledges it as valid. When the Beatles, Elvis, and Jimi Hendrix first came out they too were nobodies wh o were viewed as reb ellious and crude . As Robert Plant once said, "The Song Remains the Same." Nothing has changed ince the beginnings of rock and that's sad. Still "the man" is coming down on us 20 or 30 years later telling us that 911 doesn't fit the needs of SUU students. These very same people who have become " th e man" once £ought him to hear Led Zeppelin on their college radio station. So why J can' t I bear Machines of Loving Grace and Stone Temple Pilots? I see no point in arguing the merits of top 40 radio because I feel there is no point in "promoting promotion." Let me take another second and try to explain the confusing statement I just made. Everything on the top 40 format is already valid and supported by record companies. Nothing new would break through if it wasn't for stations like 91 l. If it was not for the college radio" format there would be no REM, Hootie and the Blowfish, or Nine Inch Nails. So before we get ready to change over to top 40, imagine life with no new music . No more Led Zeppelins or Rolling Stones. Radio 91 l has to exist for rock 'n' roll to move on. So in the words of.a great song writer who saw his beginnings on college radio, "Load up your guns and bring your mends ... II II T.C. Stevens COMMENTARY Brooms, lawnmowers and fun in the heartland It was Saturday night in the beer tent, which is where everybody goes after the day's festivities at the annual Broom Corn Festival in Arcola, ill. A group of us guys were standing around, shouting snippets of conversation over the din of the band, when we saw a man's naked rear end advancing toward us through the crowd The owner of the rear end was walking backward and bending over, so we couldn't see his head or upper body. Next to us, a group of women suddenly noticed the oncoming butt . To ay they were startled would be an understatement. "Look!" they gasped, pointing at the butt. "He's ... He's ... It's ..." "lt's OK!" we assured them. "It's only Ranger Reeder!" Ranger Doug Reeder is a member of an organization I belong to, the World Famous Lawn Range r Precision Lawn Mower Drill Team. It was founded 15 years ago by some guys in Arcola, a small central-Illinois town that each fall hosts the Broom Corn Festival, a celebration of the glory years when Arcola was a leading producer of the corn used to make broom bristles. The highlight of the festival is the Broom Com parade, and the most elite marching wlit in the parade, as measured in per capita consumption of kegdwelling beverages, is the Lawn Rangers. When you talk about dedicated service organizations- when you talk about decency, integrity and leadership-you are not talking about the Lawn Rangers. We are not one of those organizationsand here I am thinking 0£ our archenemies, the Shriners-that try to justify their existence by occasionally doing something useful. What we do is push lawn mowers and carry brooms . At various points along the parade route, we stop and astonish the crowd by performing broom -andlawn-mower maneuve rs with a level of smooth precision that you rarely see outside of train wrecks. I ' ve marched with the Lawn Rangers in four Broom Corn parades now. My friends ask me why I keep going back, but when I try to explain it ("We're pushing lawn mowers, see, and .. ") it just sounds stupid. This is, of course, because it is stupid. But it is more than that: it is also extremely immature. I refer here to what goes on during Ranger Orientation, which takes place before the parade in Ranger Ted Shields, garage. This is where we Rangers get ourselves into peak physical and mental condition by consuming refreshing beverages and a scientific training diet of bratwurst; this is also where we teach our precision maneuvers to the rookie Rangers via a brutal training regimen that can last as long as five minutes. And above all, this is where we hold the Ranger Business Meeting, which coul d well be the single most tastele s annual event in Am e rica, surpassing even the Christma retail season. Two years ago, the governor of lllinois, who was running for reelection, showed up at the Busine s Meeting, appar ntly thinking it was a collection of normal voter . As he approached us, he realized that he had made a huge mistake and stopped, his eyes revealing the stark terror of a politician who realizes that he's in danger of being photographed shaking hands with, for example, a man wearing a hat festooned with a lifelike replica of the male anatomical unit. The governor left quickly, which meant he missed the Business Meeting, including the muchanticipated perfonnance by Ranger Reeder. Out of respect for a fellow Ranger, I am not going to comment upon Ranger Reeder's mental state, except to say that he has the kind of penetrating stare and intense smile that would make him a prize recruit for the U.S. Postal Service. He is a legend among the Rangers . Each year-this is th e highlight of the Business Meeting- he gets up a ladder, turns his back to the audience, and presents an EXTREMELY explicit dramatic rendition, using props, of a song or poem involving the word "moon." Each year his performance gets more elaborate; this year, it concluded with actual fireworks shooting out of a tube that was ... Well, I can't tell you where the was, except t o say we were all amazed that Ranger Reeder did not require medical treatment. For the next solid year, American voters are going to be relentlessly hound ed by presidentia l contenders, all of whom are going to a sure us that t hey represent mainstream, heartland values. I say to those candidates: Maybe not e verybody in th e heartland h as exactly the same values. Maybe it would broaden your perspective to come to Arcola next· fall, march with the Rangers, hang out in the beer tent, watch Ranger Reeder in action. He would make a n awesome secretary of state. Dave Barry is a Pulitz er Prize winning humorist for tbe Miami Herald. |