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Show THE UNIVERSITY JOUJlNAL • S0 t1TR£RN UTAH UNJ'VBRSITY • MONDAY, OCTOBE.lt. 17, 1994 Journal Classifieds must be submit ted to o ur offices o n the base m e n t level of th e T echnology Building or to the secretary in the Student Activities Office. The cost is $ 1 fo r m embers of th e campus community; $2 for off-campus individuals. All ads m ust be paid for in advance. Deadline is noon Friday for Mo nday issue; noon T u esday for Wednesday issue; noon Thursday fo r Friday issue. T hose who s ubmit ads are reminded that no ad m ay be placed on beha lf of another individual without tha t individual's consent. If the University Journal discovers such an attemp t, both th e advertisement and th e payment will be forfeited. T he University Journal prohi bits discrimi nation in race, color, creed, age, religion, sex or handicap. l,1Nl,A)t,S! ~\J, G.1 ,'.,\. \, 1 . 1 \ 1 ', l' ji \ - , , , ° , '. • I .... 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N ext time l come over, remind me to bring the candy! Bu t th is time I' m bringing gummy bears! Love. Clegg Big Daddy: l heard that the girl you w ant to hoo k up w ith o nce had a crush on you . When is the last you sent h er fl owers or too k h er ou t ? You're going to have to stop being a herm it if you want her to respond. She' s co nfused by everything sh e h ea rs, bu t so me ti m es s he really misses having you around. -P.G. Acclamation: It has been great. l will see you in two years. E. Jackson JS! I'm glad you're back from drills safe a nd a live ! D on ' t even try t o throw me over your shoulder or out the window or you' ll h a ve to take you r pi llow and s leep in the jungle with the bikes. By the way, you're one tough kid and I'm so proud of you. Miss Sleepy Robyn: the trees won't be green much longer... maybe you should take some pictures before it snows. Let me in on anything worth while. Checlf out the finest coolfin' in Southern Utah! We feature the best breakfast menu in Southern Utah as well as fine steaks and hamburgers. Come out and enjoy agreat meal today! 58&-932~ 2290Y. 400 "'fi. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 6 a.m.-9 p.m. - - ·~ JIM MURRAY SPORTS COMMEN TARY M - - 'Hustlers' get Nobel Prize/ I'm going to recommend my Uncle Ed for the Nobel Prizeposthumously. You all remember my Uncle Ed? Edward Michael Murray. My gambling uncle. Fast Eddie. The dead ringer for Jimmy Cagney. Ed is a strange candidate for a Nobelist, I grant you. Never fini shed grammar school. Too busy playing hooky, shooting craps. The nuns told him to take his dice and stop taking up seats tha t could be bette r use d by peo pl e s tud yi ng wh o wo n Napo leonic wars, not the probabilities of how to make a hard eight. But perhaps yo u no ticed th e o ther day where the N obel committee bestowed their prestigious prize on three economists who have evolved som ething called the "game theory." As I get it, this is nothing more than applying poker principles, or dice principles, to everyday bus iness. It is a progra m of knowing your opposition in sports or in business in advance so as to have maximum advantage in dealing with them. "It will give us a higher standard of living because we make better decisions." The "game theory" approach is derived from studies of games like poker, chess, or dice, we are told. It involves gamesmanship to the extent of increasing your chance of success by evaluating your opponent and predicting his countermoves. Weil, excuse me! Uncle Ed did that 60 years ago. Sometimes, of course, he "predicted" the response of adversaries by boiling the dice. At times he anticipated countermoves by stuffing extra dice up his sleeve that he would substitute on the felt as soon as he heard, "You're faded." The Nobelists theory calls for s tudying how com petitors will react to dea ls according to ethnic bac kgro und, psychological predisposition or past predictable behavior. You thi nk Ed didn' t do that? He didn't write any books about it. But he put it in practice. What's so profound about that? You think Ed didn't know his pal Rome would always stay on 16 in blackjack or that if he got Brennan into the Jack Daniel's at the crap table he could substitute the crooked dice at will? And tell me, do you know any more effective game theorists than the Vegas oddsmakcrs? Anybody ever make a more thorough study of the breeding, family tree, daily habits and nervous systems of entities they were about to go in busmess with than horse players? How about foo tball coaches? You th ink anyone ever studied the competition any more thoroughly than they do? Not Macy's or Gimble's, Ford o r General Moto rs. T he c landes t ine scouti ng report, together with practi ce-field spying, was put into practice by a foo tball coach, I believe General Bob Neyland of Tennessee. He pioneered th e practice of predict ing opposition tac ti cs by cataloguing their "tendencies." What does Alabama always do on third-and-long in their own territory? Which team won't pu nt on fourth -and-one if they're behind wi th less than three m inutes to play? Neyland had the answers under lock and key someplace. Never got a Nobel. The Nobelists-John C. Harsanyi, John F. Nash and Reinhard Selten-acknowledge part of their program is intui tive. Well?! Big surprise. So was Ed's. I dare say he spent as much time i n labo rat o ry resea rch a s th e good p ro fessors . Th e economists say the key is the position that if you can understand the strategies of your rivals you gain insight into the outcome of your business dealings. Ed could have told them that! So metimes he got an insight into their strategies by dealing them, say, a pair of jacks, from the bottom of the deck. He also gained insight into the outcome that way. By dealing himself queens. I had no idea the Nobel was looking for scientists who involved themselves with the arts and mys teries of bluffing at poker, second-guessing the quarterback, counting the cards or raising the pot . I always thought the N obel went to guys who had stopped killing people for the moment like, say, Arafat. But every time Tommy Lasorda walks the cleanup hitter to get to the next guy, he's a game theorist . When Oliver McCall notices Lennox Lewis is carrying hi s right hand low, he's a game theorist. They used to call guys who practiced what these guys advocate " hus tlers ." In boardrooms th ey' re called "major players." Ed did everything these guys recommend. But his economics were applied, not theoretical. The Royal Swedish Academy paid no attention. But were his discoveries applicable to running IBM? Well, you judge. One of his words to live by to me was, "If the other guy has two aces showing, fold." Wall Street couldn't say it any better. |