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Show SOUTHERN UTAH NEWS Community Domestic Blitz t ' rrvr." ry'SS SSv r rrrS. v ' , ' WEDNESDAY APRIL 9, 2003 The Circus is coming to Kanab rS"f- Sr V Thanks to the sponsorship of the Kanab Youth Rec Center, Culpepper & Merriweather Dixie Brunner By Circus, Americas favorite Big rSSSrfS V ' 'rrS'SrS' '"r ivr 'r.S Lawn snobbery and other demagoguery Lawn snobs emerge from bernation every spring. hi- They feign innnocence, pretending to be out enjoying the warmer weather. They fool no one. We all know they are inspecting their yard and forming a plan of attack for the upcoming growing season. Their goal is simple: make the rest of us look bad. The only clue theres a bona fide lawn snob holed up in a home is the appearance of white, styrofoam cones discreetly in- terspersed throughout their lawn. Otherwise in winter, its a y lawns and tough lawns have a way of looking similar when winter winds blow. By the time June rolls around, however, the innocent squares of terra firma take on a vastly different appearance. Just how does one go about identifying a lawn snob? Snobs have lawns so pure they are seldom defiled by human foot. If you were to slip a bare foot onto the pastoral domain, youd undoubtedly find grass so soft, itd put a babys bottom to shame. Be careful though, some snobs booby trap their lawns to extinguish intruders. Few live to tell call-lous- well-manicur- ed intelligent creatures. They can rattle off more grass and weed names than Doans has pills. Dixie, I noticed you have a little problem with Quack Grass. You must be so embarrassed. I dont know what to say, I answered truthfully. Look, I like you so Im going to let you in on a little secret. I dont usually do it, but youre obviously in desperate need. Ill give you the name ofa good lawn man across town. Discreet is his middle name. True lawn snobs often have unbridled loathing of their lawn louse neighbors. Do not allow your clippings to be spit onto their lawns. Ugly incidents like that wind up in Peoples Court. Remember not to upset lawn snobs. They dont handle stress well. I heard of one gentleman who fainted when he discovered a thistle in his backyard. Another woman Im told actually had a seizure when her lawn care specialist postponed her appointment. The lawn snob label is firmly affixed at the discovery of the most important characteristic of lawn equipment. You all-cle- Top Circus, is coming to Kanab on Tuesday, April 15. They will set up next to Pizza Hut, with two scheduled performances at 5:00 & 7:30 p.m. In its 20th season, C&M Circus has become internationally One-Rin- g, Geographics Explorer TV series, Entertainment Tonight, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Tribune, Arizona Highways Magazine, and most recently on the A&E Special: Under the Big Top. This years lineup includes an group of performers and entertainers, including: the high energy routines of the Chimal family, the amazing aerialist, Tavana Luvas on the single trapeze, the sensational Miss Stephanie shows her strength on the rings, Tiny the clown, Casey Cainen with his wonderful animals, and of course the All-St- ar - Recently BAYCOL was removed from the market by the FDA. BAYCOL has been associated with a condition that : serving Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner We have the best salad bar in town, ; with a potato bar every day! ; We aim to give you Good Food, Good Service in a Clean and Friendly Atmosphere! Senior Citizen Discount 36 N 300 W Kanab 6442415 - : a y. k A J ' 4 causes muscle disintegration, weakness, tenderness, fever, ''J dark urine, nausea and vomiting. Most commonly, patients suffer severe muscle pain in the back and calf S' , " i yy"7"'r ' . v Your family restaurant, open from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Save money by purchasing your tickets in advance. Advance discount tickets are available at local area merchants: Honeys Jubilee, Glaziers FoodTown,The Volunteer Center and Kanab Rec Center. Prices for advance tickets are $5.00 for children 12 and younger, children under 2 are always free, and $7.00 for adults. On show day tickets will be $2.00 more. Buy tickets early and save. For more information call 866-BITOP 6. YCO ALERT! , Opening: Four Seasons Restau rant Under Mew Management endangered Species Show offers a unique face to face opportunity The public is invited to watch animals in the circus family. can see yourself shine. A grease neatly-manicure- Barbara and Connie erect the Big Top the way its been done for over 200 years with The tent elephant power! raising is at 9:00 a.m. followed by the FREE Endangered Species Show at 10:00 a.m. The members of the for families, schools, and Culpepper & Merriweather interested community members Circus family African to meet and learn about Barbara, Barbara and Connie. Connie and the rest of the elephants mistakenly cut across their grass! ct Showtimes for the Culpepper and Merriweather Circus are 5 and 7:30 p.m. next Tuesday, April 15 in the lot next to Pizza Hut. largest an youve mistakenly cut across spot or dirt clod hasnt a prayer their grass! The words dont on the rake, hoe or mower of a tread on me have never rung lawn snob. more true. It wont be long now; until they Weed is a curse word to snobs. will be out in full force. Brush up when they spy a on lawn language and talk grass They over-reaweed in their lawn. A neighbor seed with them. It couldnt hurt. of mine once hired a backhoe Theymight be more tolerant this when he discovered a dandelion summer when their yard is d in his yard. and yours One thingsforcertain, snobs are looks like a scene from Tarzan. . known for quality family entertainment. This authentic Big Top Circus has been featured on National ...Few live to tell of a lawn snobs wrath when youve of a lawn snobs wrath when 7 A', !.'' ' 's yaffiAfr V'r A), T'Y "kyf' JV, - ' 4,''":-- ' ", ; , .. ' y muscles. Sadly, at least 100 people who took BAYCOL have died. If you or someone you know took BAYCOL and are suffering from these symptoms there is help. For a free consultation contact Matthew Graff; a local attorney for all of Southern Utah. G |