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Show TEMPLAR TRUMPET, PAGE 10 DECEMBER 17, 1998 Chronicles of the Paranormal Christmas. Merry lanukkah, Good Boing Day, and so on and so forth Yes. it is that special time of vear again As the Holiday season approaches we. agents Brodcls and Burd, have been busier than anv man in a red suit Now that vvc'vc sent out our greetings it's time to get down to business Happv 1 enough radioactive waste to make agent Brodcls "Brodzilla " So what we arc basically saying is that there is a far better chance of being killed by released movies (Deep Impact and Armageddon), we have had a few questions about asteroids come our way. Howccr. we Godzilla than an asteroid from outer space! If you think space is big and full of mystery, just take a good look at Godzilla FETCH1! I cant believe it; asteroids ov er Godzilla Live in the now! We were down in our lab, experimenting w ith radiation and ants. Just then the ants couldn't determine the real started growing due to the Due to the newly questions from the fake ones Since we didn't know much about this subiect we just mercK brushed off them weevils in significant like on An asteroid to Wheatics destrov earth, veah. sure, that will happen asteroid ideas' mean, reallv. an ho thinks of these I Now on realistic thmgs-Godillhave had mans to more We and hav e never seen such a fine spectacle of truth I mean, the elements for a giant liatd are all over the world Iheie is a agent Brodcls, awoke with a splintering headache I found my that my had head broken through the walls and I felt like I had an ingrown toenail. What had really happened is that now I was a giant one hundred foot ant with some human features The juices that the ant expelled the day before must have caused my to multiply and genetic turn me into a giant human-an- t. Just then we received make-u- p radiation treatment, however, some side affects did occur For instance, some ants suffered thorax enlargement and antenna an shrinkage Qmckly. I. agent Brodcls. tried to smash one of the ants, but its mouth engulfed im hand and miccted its juices into me Fudge Being on the ball, agent Burd pulled out Ins lizard (Godzilla) Knowing we could not hesitate any longer, we hopped on our huge oil tanker and floated to Japan When wc got there the destruction was estimated in the millions ofYen Not wanting to see agent Brodcls get pulverized. I. agent Burd. decided to head to the local sushi bar and grab a drink of saki After dropping otTBuid at the bar I. agent Brodcls. had trustv ball-poi- nt pen and recorded the incident on some paper, then he penned the ant Since the ant was to death killed we thought nothing more of the incident and went to bed Durnut the muht I. Yoshitoyamaha from Suzuki It stated that the people of Japan were defenseless against a giant The Sterling Bell By: Nina Wing If you ever happen to sec the bell on the monument that stands to the south of the LDS church in Sterling, maybe you will ask yourself why is it there, or what docs it mean? The bell on the monument once was the bell for the old school house, built in 898. that stood in Sterling It was used as a call for the children, when it was time to come to school, or it was used when there was a fire and help was needed. Even when the school house burned down in 1968, the bell was saved. The bell is not nearly as important as what it stands for and why the monument was erected. It stands as a reminder of the past and the settlers of Pettyvillc, (which was the original settlement, and sat west of where Sterling is today). The settlers of Pettyvillc 1 were vigorous, hardworking, honest, generous and friendly. When the settlement was moved the settlers were willing to move, leaving their homes and build new ones One home was sawed in half, and rolled on logs to its present location Tins is one of many examples of their hard work and eagerness. According to recent news reports. Sterling is now one of the fastest growing communities m Utah, partly due to Palisade Lake, and partly because people just want to live in a small town, where they feel safe and the people arc friendly. It is not uncommon when driving down the street in Sterling for a person to wave to everyone he secs, regardless if he knows them or not. or to be aware of a neighbor who needs help and he is willing to help. These arc qualities that the settlers of the community of Sterling valued. As the bell stands as a reminder, the message from the past should ring clear today. Wc arc the future builders of our communities, state and nation. to go fight Godzilla with only my bare antennas (ha ha). Godzilla was on the comer of 53rd and Kawasaki when 1 first saw him I le's really not all lie's made up to be first started at his toes with my pincers, but he quickly rebounded and threw me into the Hyundai building I shook off the blow and went direetlv for Godzilla's stomach area Pinch after pinch Godzilla got weaker and weaker, until he 1 finally died Now you might be wondering how I got back to my normal size You sec. Japan wanted to thank Agents Burd and Brodcls for their help in saving the country and by putting the demand for saki on a whole new level. They gave agent Burd a case of saki and gave me. agent Brodcls, an instant shrinkage machine made Honda END THE bv If you think this is the most idiotic ending we've ever had. well then, your absolutely, poxitiv elv . w ithout a doubt right Agent Brodcls and Burd typing off fora fifth time Thanks secretaries By: Brooke Birk Phones ringing, teachers rushing, copy machines breaking, students wanting, and printers not working. This is the everyday life of Claire Cox, Cynthia Olsen, and Dianne Rogers. These three ladies are what keep our school in one piece. Many a times these ladies are forgotten. When we all receive our awards and certificates, guess who has to make them? The Secretaries. If any of you know ladies these personally you know that they would do practically anything for our school and the students that attend. Claire with her Christmas music playing and her potpourri, Mrs Olsen with the telephone in her hand and fingers pressing the keyboard keys, and Dianne with her Hershies chocolate kisses You all walk in the office and think to yourself so they are the ones who called my parents and told them I was sluffing or you sent that failing notice home. Hey, that is their job and yourjob is to be in school and get good grades. All in all our school is truly blessed to have 3 talented ladies to work with. So next time you go in to pay your lunch money take a shinney red apple or two and just say I ley, thanks guys for everything you do. |