Show Pope 406marb M1 nOries Com Owego CO cm Odom 1fto Co - r i'vlill I 1 1 I '11P17' t fltIOFsile 411-- t6 i - c:e'-- ' ) 4i1OS " T1 t 5v e '" 4 licfiv litckell :11 LL 1t 1i I :7' : Nkek-a- - to Buddy Hackett was a "poor kid" in his native Brooklyn "I says "I got it by being funny" He soon found he could Like make a career of it so many others he got his start in the resort hotels on "Borscht York's New Circuit" Then came quick success in nightclubs and his first small movie part Hackett has since conquered his field: his own TV series appearances on every leading TV show and nightclub stardom on Broadway (I Had a Ball) and in films (Mad Mad World etc) Now Hackett has signed a lifetime contract to appear 12 weeks a year at Las Vegas' Sahara Hotel His latest movie is Disney's The Love Bug Hackett lives with his wife Sherry and their three children in Beverly Hills The jokes that follow are some of his personal favorites EDITOR'S NOTE: wanted attention" he k!t ' 9i 1 - - - ' A mother says to her boy "Weavil you have been a bad boy today and I am going to punish you Go out to the yard and cut a switch I am going to whip you" A few minutes later the boy returned "I can't reach the tree but here's a rock for you to throw at me" ) man walking along the street meets a friend who is a faith healer "How your family?" asks the healer "They're all fine" replies the man "except for my uncle who is very sick in a deep coma" "He is not sick" says the healer vehemently "He is not sick he just thinks he is sick Now remember HE IS NOT SICK" A few days later the man ran into his friend again "How is your uncle?" asks the healer "You won't believe this" says the man "but now the idiot thinks he's dead" A is a man who had a pussycat that he greatly loved When he went to Europe he left the cat with his brother and mother While in Europe he away called his brother and asked "Durante how is my pussycat?" His brother red the man says "How could you be so plied "Your cat is dead" cruel? You know how loved that cat You could have said 'Your pussycat is up on the roof and we can't get her down' Then in a few days you could have calLd me and said 'Your cat is off the roof but it has broken a small bone and is in the hospital' Then a few days later when was better prepared you could There was Broken-hearte- I :" I have called and said: 'Your cat has passed away in he sleep she felt no pain'" "You're right" replied the saddened man's brother "and I am sorry" A week later the man once again called his brother from Europe "Durante how is mother?" He asked "Well" responded his brother "she is up on the " roof and we can't get her down the Playtex inventsinside (We took the first-da- y tampon' out to show you how different it is) Outside: it's softer and silky (not cardboardy) it even protects Inside: it's so extra absorbent on your first day Your worst day! In every lab test against the old cardboardy kind the Playtex tampon was always more absorbent Actually 45 more absorbent on the average than the leading regular tampon Because it's different Actually adjusls to you It flowers out Fluffs out Designed to protect every inside inch of you So the chance of a mishap is almost zero! Try it fast Why live in the past? Opiavtex Gr5)taiifi6iis 52 A bartender looks up and sees a gorilla walk in the door As he flattens himself against the back of the bar in horror the gorilla puts a $10 bill on the bar and orders a martini The bartender flees to the back room in a panic "There's a live gorilla in the bar" he stammers to his boss "He just put a $10 bill on the bar and ordered a martini" "Serve him" says the boss "and give him $1 in Lilange After all he's a gorilla what does he know?" The bartender serves the martini and puts down $1 in change As the gorilla sips the drink the bartender says "You know we don't get too many gorillas in here" and the gorilla replies "I'm not surprised—at $9 a drink" little girl lobster announced to her father that she is going to marry a crab a crab they are different from us We walk and crabs walk straight sideways" Terrified the little lobster called her crab and informed him the wetlirig was off The flex! day to her 'joyous surprise she discovered the crab walkiig straight !ewa1 fw "01 cr4h" she cried "you are valking straight" The crab answered drunkenly 'Thash right and I don't care who knosh!" A The father replied "You can't marry PARADE MARCH 9 PIO : |