| Show I 1 from F born 0 the detroit daily advertiser Doe sticks goes goe 6 to lection I 1 I 1 NEW YO BK nov 8 1854 seventy bundred and one narrow st 5 I 1 lection d day r I 1 big placards placard posters music notices split ticket ti rum bullies banners bonfires bonfi ies and trip IV r ier 1 it rained as iier f it was raining rai ningon on a bet went to the polls wanted to voted vote particular who for or if lie he only had bad the biggest flags and the most bullies was little puzzled after all how to do it had read all he 11 e political pol iticia prints to find out on the best man butin judging from what the newsy newspapers apera say concerning the different candidates the various factions in this city entertain peculiar ideas about the requisites necessary pec essary to p qualify a man 0 to o fill a public station not an individual is ever nominated for any office who is not eulogized by some of the public journals as a drunkard liar swindler incendiary y assassin or public robber assuming f from rom the wonderful unanimity of the papers on this subject that these amiable qualities cari constitute the fitness fit nesi of the nominees for places of honor trust or profit I 1 have endeavored to analyze the he gradations of crim criminal ibal betit mei it and discover disco vei how big a rascal a man roust must be to qualify him for any given of tice office the result of my investigations are aie as follows r I 1 no one is is eligible to the office of mayor of the file city unless he has foiled fareed a draft and apt bot the money on it and on at least two separate occasions set fire to his house to get the he insurance candidates for aldermen qualify themselves by carrying a revolver getting beastly drunk and a policeman or two before they cl get sober A common councilman roust must drink with the he short boys give prizes to the Fir emens target U excursion carry cai ry a slung shot in in his pocket and I 1 have a personal interest Li terest in i n a peter funk shop A police Ju justice itice must gamble a little cheat a considerable lie a good deal and get drunk clear through ever every y Sit saturday night nhat if he be cabi can read easy words and write his name name it is generally general lyno no serious objection but the know nothings will ill not permit eyen even this on the plea that the science s bence 0 of f letters it of foreign origin A man who alo can pick a pocket scientifically will make a good constable aspirants to minor offices are aie classified according to desert but no one who has bag not dot at least committed petit larceny is allowed a place on any regular ticket As to offices of more liti importance I 1 should say from what lean I 1 can now judge that no man can ever be elected governor of the state unless hiis he is guilty 0 of a successful burglary complicated with a ml midnight iani murder the rival candi candidates oittes in this present crisis had bad called each other all alig hemmes P and accused each other of all the crimes A for the preceding ceding six weeks boggs had been denounced as ilie ane plunderer of orphans and seducer of innocent maidens and the pilferer of hard earned coppers from the poor according to his charitable opponents was a pickpocket pick pocket a sheep stealer a peter funk an ani and i au ail irishman the candidate set up by the know not nothings 11 ings to claim votes on the plea of his hi is being an immaculate Am american mican was proved to be the child of a french father and a prussian mother and to have been born in calcutta it was asserted that le commenced lills h is aducat on in the northern part of ethiopia continued it in dublin and finally graduated at botany bay hoges who had once before held the office he was now striving for it was asserted had solemnly promised to pardon all the murderers liberate all the burg ars reward all the assassins and I 1 present pres nt all the shoulder houlder hitters with an official certificate of good moral character which should also a so testify to their the i r valuable and highly commendable exertions in the public behalf too loo vii virtuous to be severely handled was merely mentioned as having ben formerly a swindler sw hidler and a member of the common council I 1 got to ane alie polls poll a man with a blue flag urged me to go for boggs min man with a red ila flag g s said aid vote for man with a white flag with black letters za sung out go for hoggs a little boy pulled my coat cat tail and whispered cc vote for f or nog boggs h man challenged my note took off my hat held eld up my mi m i hand band and swore to all sorts of things told how old I 1 am where I 1 got my dinners ners and what my mi name is got mad and did a little extra swearing on my own account which was aps not down in the bill marched up in a gand grand procession assion of one and d poked my vote in the ligrow little hole the great reat excitement was on the liquor question it was boggs aogi and no liquor shops or bogge and a few liquor shops and pleny plenty of liquor shops or Hoggs and every iiii man his hii own on liquor shop oed for hoggs for I 1 feel perfectly justified 1 in HI taking an occasional toddy when ail al l wall street is perpetually it tight lit noise on the corner or I 1 ni er boy playing flo the lae big drum candidates presented themselves to the sovereign people for inspection know nothing man on a native jackass tick cap of liberty on his head and his pantaloons pantaloons loons made of the american flaa with the stripes ri run in jiing 11 ing the wrong way independent candidate who wants the ir irian ish vote and dutch suf suir frages rages entered borne in a mortar hod barefooted with a shillelagh in one band a whiskey bottle in the other othar a dutch pipe in his mouth and a small barrel of beer to his back I 1 cold water man stood atoo a on a hydrant with the he water turned on and had his pockets full of ici cles I 1 I 1 whiskey man inan drought brought in drunk on a cart by admiring friends ohp who besought tb the crowd to do to as he did goit blind I 1 special deputy who wanted to be appointed policeman was very active he be arrested an apple woman knocked down a cripple kicked A little brigle boy looked thi the other way w chife ile his constituents were were picking pockets and took a little match girl gia u up an alley and spanked her soundly for pre presuming dum iad to show herself in the street without shoes an and stockings mattoon his hat sic astra P goi it or never be a star I 1 11 polls closed intense excitement bonfires built squibb squibs rockets guas and chinese crac crackers kees liquor scarce the candidates having cut off the aply y as soon agthe as the voting waso was fiver ver crowd sat ow in bar rooms rooms and engine houses and crowd I 1 z I 1 1 I 1 1 14 1 1 A 1101 ed about the secret rooms to get dispatches about twelve they began to comei come it was soon evident that boggs was beaten boggs bogga was waa distanced and was nowhere it was hoggs everywhere H hogelin ort the street hoggs hogga in the tavern hoggs at the bon bonfires bonfi fites iee hoggs hogg forever no one but homs hoggs triumphant hoggs victorious hoggs aih high 9 old the peoples choice this morning boggs typo typographical grap cical organ announced the utter ruin and speedy annihilation of the country and the cestr destructive active rule of hoggs and it asserted that honor honesty and truth bad left the nation patriotism and decency had bad deserted hand in hand band and that the outraged goddess of liberty had taken off her nightcap night cap pinned up her petticoats oatt put on a pair of cowhide boots and bidden an eternal farewell to fallen degenerate columbia on the other hand hoggs papers pape 1 s rejoiced eliceo over the defeat of the allied armies ai baies 11 bade a N boggs g 8 boggs and an affectionate adieu and consigned them to oblivion and then rejoiced that they hey had chosen a ruler so capable as the fd glorious I 1 orious hoggs the proud farseeing far seeing generous lil liberal eral independent hoggs who guarantees to the people their daily gin and nightly riots hoggs the migu magnanimous hoggs who stands up to the popular creed unlimited whiskey hoggs who remains true to his al instincts hoggs who battles for the peoples rights hoggs who has so nobly earned the title bestowed upon him by the lager bier shops whose liberty he be has secured and the whiskey dens whose morality he has vouched couched for hoggs defender of the faith and leader of the faithful yours one sid edly I 1 Q K PHILANDER DOES TICKS P B P S hurrah for hoggs |
