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Show Wednesday. November 19, 2003 Vernal Express Nip money arguments in by Val Farmer Too many couples get bogged down in money arguments. No wonder! Money decisions represent ways people show what they value in life. Money arguments are prosy arguments for value discussions. Is it alcohol and cigarettes? Is fancy cars and fancy homes? Is it a lake home or a time share? Exotic vacations? Education? Savings? Retirement? Contribute to charity? Tithe to their church? Private acts of charity? Are they collectors? Passions, hobbies and compulsions show up in checkbooks. Are people comfortable living on the edge or in debt? How aggressive are they in investing money to make money? Can they delay gratification and save for goals or do they carry consumer debt? Do they pay interest or collect interest? How money is spent is a test of how a couple comes together In choosing a compatible lifestyle. It represents the merging of dreams, goals, ideas and values. Money matters force couples to really be a couple and to unify for common purposes. The decision-makinprocess of who spends the money shows how power in handled in a relationship. Is it a joint decisionmaking process or does one partner arbitrarily make purchases without consulting the other? Money is a test of loyalty and fidelity. Is there a pattern of deceit, lies, secretive spending, coverups, gambling or impulsive spending? Spending obligates both parties and incur! obligations or debt on both parties. Not adhering to an agreed on spending plan shows a blatant disregard for the feelings of one's g partner. It feels like betrayal. It is betrayal. It is a violation of the marital boundaries. In son cases, it rivals an affair in terms of the violation of trust that it triggers. Prevention of money fights. If couples come to me with on going money disagreements, I offer these guidelines that if accomplished can clear up persistent fights. Have an actual budget that functions as a true operating plan for spending decisions. Too many people say they understand the importance of a budget but don't take the time to sit down and deal with the reality of their money decisions. Too many couples, if they have a written budget, act as if it doesn't mean anything anyway. Ignorance may be bliss, but it is also the blueprint for having repetitive money arguments instead of actually coming together to really solve the problem. Meet at least monthly to review your budget. Spend less than you make. You can't get by on a deficit budget. Some short term cash flow problems can be part of the budget, but basic expenditures can't exceed income. Greed and impulsive spending have to be curbed within the discipline of a budget. The budget needs to be realistic. Use actual data, not pie in the sky estimates. Discuss fuzzy areas, such as food, clothing, maintenance, entertainment, gifts, holiday spending, etc. Unify income and spending into a common framework. It is our income, our" expenses, our savings, our debt, "our" investments, and our credit cards. Each is accountable to the other. Each is responsible to the other. It doesnt Trooper Talk would be true for a "windfall" or an income that isn't unexpected included in the budget. Have emergency funds to cover three months of family expenses. Emergency funds give you peace of mind. Work toward this goal if it isn't possible at first. Are you getting Into trouble? These are some "red flag" indicators of being overextended. These are taken from a book. Till Debt Do Us Part," by Bernard Podruska of Brigham Young University. - Spending up to or beyond credit matter who makes what or who spends what or whether there are two checkbooks or one checkbook or one credit card or several credit cards if decisions are made through a single budget. If you operate your money separately, you might as well be roommates or in i "living together" arrangement. Either you are a team and trust each other or else you are too independent. Picking and thxsing which parts of marriage you like and which parts you don't like keeps the marriage from truly being what it can and should be. No secret spending. This is a violation of the marital bond. Addictions need to be acknowledged and treated. Seek professional help rather than violate money agreements in the marriage. Establish discretionary spending for each partner that is a part of the overall budget. Make it realistic. This is one area where you don't need to be accountable to each other except for living within the established amount. Have pre established limits on spending that trigger an automatn ic process before made. Do this are expenditures even if the resources are there to cover the expense. Honor your Expensive gifts, well meant, can be a violation of trust. If budgetary exceptions occur that jeopardize the overall budget, confer with each other on how to incorporate the expense into the existing budget. The same limits. - No emergency funds. - Making only minimum payments. - Being unaware of the amount of debts. - Making late or missing payments. - Applying for additional credit cards. - Refinancing or consolidating loans. e More than 20 percent of debt make to is used paypay ments. - Deceiving your spouse on the amount you spent or owe. - Debts are turned over to collection agencies. - There is no plan for avoiding debt, reducing living expenses or getting out of debt. Val Parmer is a clinical psychologist with MeritCare in Fargo, N.D. He specializes in rural mental health and family business - joint-decisio- o the bud o - 'a' O' o- take-hom- o- - Uintah County Animal Shelter Pelts Off The Weeffs Wlhiati ahoiurt graduated driver licenses? By Senior Trooper Many people have asked me what is so important about the "new Graduated Driver License. I think that to understand what it does will answer most of the questions that people have about it. Graduated Driver Licenses are not a new idea. Florida passed this law in We now have statistical evidence that it helps young drivers. In Australia, New Zealand, and in some provinces of Canada, the 19. system has shown that young people have a longer opportunity to learn what it is like to drive. They learn the abilities of their vehicles better. They learn their own capabilities better. Young drivers have always had a greater number of crasfies than any other age group. Requiring young drivers to learn and become responsible is only a benefit to them. While many people complain that the system is a restriction, I think that it can be a life saver. I have seen many young people who will never have the opportunity to understand restrictions because they are no longer around. Many parents say that they require their children to go through certain phases before they are allowed to use family vehicles. In this case, the state has taken no! Parents regulate the process. If they fail to take the time to drive with their children, then there is no Facfts afooioti 45 yV 22" no fee fostering program which will The Animal Shelter has a if families determine they wish to keep the pet permahelp adopting 30-da- y, nently. Animals at the shelter can now be viewed online. Go to Petfinder.com to find pictures of animals who need good homes. A link can also be found at vernalcity.org. If you wish to foster or adopt one of these or another animal, or if your pet is missing, 7 or visit them in their new building please call the shelter at at 1387 E. 335 S. te 4 mmmTMmemmpm O Nov. Moon Phases FuM Ftrt t) 21 Nov. M y 45721 Doe. ( nmxnw am., m MUt Thu 67 pm 709am mmmrm jUK&fdtr pm 7 12am Sal 456pm Mon 714am 455pm Thu Nmv Windy with soma un. Htb HK7MiKKKaM 2 68 a a-- Sat 5 30 a m Mon 8 13 a m I Pro time Theft Investigation Team. The Motor Vehicle Enforcement Divisions Special Operations may reached he or at Fax: jl271 J y40 J 8 71 J6 VI 0 V y37 VI 4 V Regional Traveler's Cities Wdnday W HI Sol U 2.4 pnu 3 10pm 337 p.NU 4 08 p m 54 31 4Mpm m 5 32 63 35 ,44 42 46 25 p 44 as forecasts and maps provided by AccuWeatfiet, All Thursday HI ' 52 59 pe" 84 S 67 4 70 S 55 pc 5t 52 Lo W M 47 Accu Weathers BealFeel Temperature1of tt attcta of lmpfatur, 24 pe 44 23 pc 27 47 35 pc Provo, UT Prto.urns47 CO 53 27 6MUMCy.VT 8434 pe ; St George, UT 64 42 f rruoson. m tsonon- - t ITftll 43 23 pc pa 1 7 C 37 24 pe'4t4 I 21 . 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She is an older pet of the week is a female old is and 7 wearing a collar. dog, probably around years f Tr Partly sunny and windy Partly cloudy a popular car can sell for as much av three times the value of the 1 L ciooOy awitio filheffi Of those arrested for auto theft, 59 percent were under 2 years of age. Automobiles accounted for 78.3 percent of the stolen vehicles. Nearly 13 percent of car thefts happen because the owner left their keys in the car. Auto theft also alfects insurance premiums, especially when the theft is accompanied by insurance fraud. According to the most recent FBI crime data, the stolen parts of The Utah State Motor Vehicle Enforcement Division and the U S. Department of Justice have combined to create a Watch Your Car" program, a Utah auto theft prevention and education program. Did you know? Tcxlay, in the United States, a vehicle is stolen every 20 seconds. Its an $8 billion a year crime. Auto theft is big business. There are some large organized groups of car thieves that seemingly fill orders for a contract buyer. Sunny to partly Parents need to accountability understand that they have a real impact on a child's safety when they are teaching them how to drive safely Gxxl drivers tend to teach gixxJ habits, l.ay drivers tend to teach levs safe habits. Is it fair to restrict young drivers to day time driving? Again, if you hxk at statistics, night time is the most dangerous time for new drivers to learn their skills. Is a short restricted period unfair if it can save one of our children? The same is true of passengers. I cannot remember the number of times that 1 have been to a crash and had the people involved, tell me that they didnt know what happened. They were just talking, and it "just happened. Most drivers realize that using gixxt driving skills can reduce the driving risks. Shouldn't we want our children to have as many gixxt experiences as possible before they get out on the road to face its challenges! If you need more information about the States Graduated Driving License, contact your local Driver License Division. They can help you to understand that it is a way to help our children become gixxt drivers. the initiative to require young drivers to increase their knowledge and skills before they are allowed to drive without restriction. Inexperience and impatience are factors that work against young drivers. Nationally, the statistics are well known. Many young drivers who are involved in fatal crashes have never had previous citations. In some cases, their mistake was one of their first. Young drivers need time to develop driving skillv and judgement to counteract their lack of on the road experience. Young drivers tend to be impulsive. They overestimate their own driving abilities and underestimate the dangers of the road. Young drivers like to drive with their friends. Because of thei' schedules this often happens after dark. After dark hours are high risk driving times. Passengers often cause distractions. Sometimes, peer pressure can cause drivers to do things that tfiey might normally realize were dangerous. Jf a graduated license saves a young person their life, is it worth it? What about the driving requirebe ments? Can they really enforced? The answer is obviously, Jack Peterson Thurday' long-haire- A7 wwmso p 62 25 pc 49 20 pc 46 20 c B2 30 pe 34 18 pe.T34.13 58 28 pc 46 23 pc 43 20 C 4Q 30 pd, 4730 37,P 68 42 t 58 35 53 33 pc 443 mt'srnoo rmn n cptmb e sunny pe partly cloudy sh sliowars. Siundsrttnune, r rsm si snow flumes on snow I too Woollier fW) It 1 t YOU BITTER Do you ever wonder whether your insurance coverage is Perhaps you've wondered if you ore paying for you really don't need? Are you taking chances IF with protecting your family, your business, your property? 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